I'm training someone next week to take my place in a department I didn't plan to work, and the position was offered, but only as a lateral move. I declined. Well the story changed when someone told me it would have meant a promotion for me.

Dammit, I coulda saved them two weeks of interviews!

But you're not here to listen to me whine and moan, that's the last time I'll mention it for now. I've got a Smackdown to talk about. Thus.......

Five minutes out: Teddy Long is Smackdown's new GM; Booker T is our new US Champ; and tonight, Angle has to wrestle, no matter what state they're in! (If you must know, it's Texas... Houston, to be exact).

Randy Orton should NOT do the pre-Smackdown bumper. Then again, Lesnar is still being shown on the "up next" graphic from our local UPN.....

No intro, no pyro, but.......
 

"Word Life!" John "Vanilla M"Cena's out in a retro Astros jersey - its Houston after all. As the resident Zenmeister RVD walks to the ring we see a recap of the end of the 8-man match. What they should have also shown was a bit after SD went off the air last week, when RVD and Cena shook hands and called it even.

The two spend the first couple of minutes feeling out each other, trading lockups, armbars and the like. RVD starts getting fancy with a monkey flip (early cover gets 2) and doing a split dodge as they run the ropes. Crowd well into this, chants for both competitors. The two manage to run into each other in what looked like a blown spot, but RVD sells it like a Tyson punch and tumbles to the floor. Cena goes out to beat on RVD, who regains the advantage and beats Cena down. RVD slips into the ring a couple of times to break the countout, but keeps Cena under control. He hangs Cena out on the barricade and hops up to 1) break the count and 2) do his signature spinning legdrop to the hung out to dry Cena. Our resident rapper won't stand still for this and rolls off while RVD was pointing to himself. Undaunted, RVD remains in the ring to mug for a bit and waits for Cena to climb up. Cena gets back in the ring and they get back to pounding on each other as we go to commercial.

Motel 6 has the dirtiest commercial on the air - a masterpiece of thumbing one's nose at the FCC.

When we return, Cena has RVD down for two. Cena suplexes RVD, covers for 2. Cena covers again for 2. Cena gets a couple boots to the head, another car wreck between the two combatants. Nick Patrick counting out, Cena to his feet at 7, Rob punches Cena to the corner, boot to the head. We suddenly cut backstage, where Booker T watches the match. RVD stomps Cena in the corner, then hits him with a low dropkick in he corner. (think of the running corner Van Daminator) He hits the split legged moonsault, count of 2. Rob shoulderblocks Cena in the corner back flips, then suplexes Cena with bridge for 2. RVD hits the spinning legdrop, then he looks around a moment before realizing "Dude, I gotta do something cool" and goes into the rolling thunder. RVD covers for 2. RVD not sure what to do to keep Cena down. T continues watching, getting into the match. Cena almost gets the F-U, but RVD squirms free and hits Cena with a kick to the jaw. RVD climbs up to set for the 5 star. Cena rolls away, so RVD does a legdrop. Cover for 2. RVD up first, but Cena surprises him with a DDT, and RVD flips completely over and sells dead. The cover gets only 2. Cena pulling himself up, RVD getting his feet, selling the back and neck. Cena clotheslines RVD, and then staggers around. RVD up, big elbow, word salute, Cena knocking RVD down for 2. Spinning side slam by Cena, then he calls for the five knuckles Shuffle. "You can't see me" to RVD. Cena turns and tells referee Nick Patrick that he can't see Cena either. 5 Knuckle Shuffle gets 2. Cena frustrated. Cena up top, RVD high kick to the head. Looks like RVD slipped too. RVD pummels Cena on the corner, pummels him for s superplex. After they land, RVD tries to flip over Cena for the cover, but Cena traps him for the 3-count and the win! Cena celebrates; RVD just mutters "Dude" and turns to leave the ring. Cena stops RVD from leaving, suggesting some Mutual Respect. Being a face/face match, it was very competitive, and RVD gives the crowd one good "Points - to -Self" for good measure.

Smackdown's very own Muppet, Booker T is backstage, commenting on the match when Teddy shows up. Long wants an opinion on Cena. T says he beat Cena last week, will beat him again. Long thinks it'll go either way, Since Booker and Cena are an even match. Cena never really LOST the belt, (he was stripped by that hate-a, Angle), and that Booker is an ex 5-time wCw champion, Teddy Long calls a BEST OF FIVE matches. Chris Benoit's on line 2 going "WTF~!?!?!?1?1!" Long wants that first match for Summerslam. I can dig that! (P.S. - Booker T never lost the US title either, he gave it away to Chris Kanyon during the InVasion.)

Later tonight - Dudleys v. Rey/Spike

Also later tonight - Angle v. Haas

Up Next- "Coyote Heat" EDDIE GUERERRO

No, NOT THE YJ STinger ad

"VIVA LA RAZA!" And Eddie's got a sweet ride and Mamacitas!! Oh, that's Torrie, Dawn Marie and Sable in his Olds Cutlass. Not bad company. He parties with them as he walks to the ring, where the Auction stuff in placed.

"ORALE Houston! Check out my mamacitas! mmMMMMmmmm..... Lookin good, huh? Angle, the countdown is on! 1. 10 days til Summerslam, 10 days til I kick your ass. 2. The auctions end tonight. See, Kurt - all the $ is for Charity. That's why I asked the divas helped me 'raise the value' of this stuff." Only Eddie could make that sound dirty.

Eddie has Torrie wear the cast. "You still look gorgeous!" Torrie gets a leg up when she falls into the wheelchair. Sable signs the cast. "I'll help you hold up your leg. It's a hard job but someone gotta do it!" Dawn Marie and Torrie sign the cast as well. Eddie takes the cast off Torrie's leg and tosses it aside.

Now the wheelchair. We cut away to a still of the wheelchair and website information. Wonder what we missed? Then, Sable models the "I suck" pic for Eddie, as he directs the pic over her face so he can get a better look at her....

"Eddie, Focus...." Sable warns.

"But they’re so... oh, NICE picture!" Torrie signs over Angle's face. Sable signs it too. "Now then, the shadowbox (Thingy)..." again, we get a still and Cole talking about the Shadowbox with Angle's belt and the pic of him and Paul E. Wonder what that was about...?

"What else can I do.....Well, Kurt is wrestling for the first time since Wrestlemania here in Houston! Hey Kurt, who'd'ja wrestle last time? Oh yeah, I did! Who won? I did? Show me the FOOTAGE." (WMXX footage plays) "Now I remember~~|| I beat you Kurt, I embarrassed you! Just like I will at Summerslam. Now then... that's our Olympics - and the Olympics is how you made your mark. You won a medal there - you’re not the ONLY athlete in the summer games. Just to let you know - I'm gonna leave you and the rest of the WWE in the starting blocks! You think I'm lying! Let me show you!"

And sure enough, we get a Summerslam commercial right in the middle of the show! Eddie cheats by tying all the other sprinters' shoes to their starting blocks, and he dances and shimmies off proudly.

"Summerslam - Angle v Latino heat! VIVA LA RAZA!"

Play the music!

Commercials.

We come back to see the French Phoenom Rene Dupree stride to the ring. Fifi, Michael Cole's girlfriend, is in step with Rene tonight. Tonight, Rene faces the returning Orlando Jordan, who (according to Cole) has been taking care of family matters these past couple of months. To be honest, I hadn't seen him since February, but that might be because I need to watch more Velocity.....

The two lock up, work to the ropes and Rene vaults Jordan to the floor. Pursuing, Rene bounces Jordan off the steps before returning to the ring with Jordan in tow. Some punches are thrown and Rene gets a cover for 2. Jordan is sent over the ropes again. Rene, thinking Jordan is on the floor, stops to do the manly Poodle dance of French supremacy, only to eat a wicked crossbody from Jordan. 1, 2, 3, ORLANDO JORDAN won a match??? That hurts my brain.

We cut backstage to see the JBL Express pull in. Josh Matthews awaits the WWE champion to ask some questions.

Josh-> JBL, the fans were wondering.....

JBL-> Josh! How's the family?

Josh-> <blathers about his sister>

JBL-> While I was out performing my community (minded) service I had people asking me.... "Are you afraid of the Undertaker?" I'd like to quote a former president, FDR (another great man who went by his initials), when he said "There is nothing to fear but fear itself". Tonight, I'll call out the Undertaker! We will stand in that ring, face to face! Who knows, you might notice.... Undertaker might be afraid of me.

Brave words from the Champion, but is the Undertaker even in the building? Well, we ARE in Texas.....

Commericals.

Triumphant music plays as we come back, and KURT DORKBOY is out, with his valet Luther Raines. Angle already has the straps down as he poses, setting off the Red, white, and blue pyro for the first time in nearly five months. The "You Suck" chant is in full swing as he enters the ring for the Dork Spin (which doesn't look right without the medals - Angle forgot them tonight?) Angle pulls the straps up as we hear the college-inspired music of EX-SUBDORK CHARLIE HAAS, who waves in the lovely MISS JACKIE. (Get well soon, Rico - I was hoping you'd crash this match just so we could see the GRECO-ROMAN LIPLOCK on Angle!).

Angle and Haas spend the first minutes of this match doing some good-old-fashioned MAT RASSLIN. armbars, trips, takedowns, holds, Psychology and amateur wrestling stuff that Randy Orton wishes he could do convincingly. Haas is keeping up with Angle and vice versa, to the point that Angle actually has to leave the ring to regroup.

Commercials.

We come back to see Angle back in control. Cole informs us that Angle wasn't out of the ring for long during the break; he came right back in. Angle is starting to really feel it, sending Haas reeling. Match drops to a brawl for a minute or so before Angle busts out his belly-to-belly suplex. "Whoo!" he shouts proudly, before delivering a flair-like chop to Haas. Angle stomps Haas down and chokes him in the corner. Angle suplexes Haas for a 2 count. Angle then straps Haas in a submission that puts Haas' head in a camel clutch-like position, then Angle presses down with one knee to the back. Haas doesn't give, so Angle and Haas battle a bit before Angle lands a HHH-esque high knee. Cover for 2. Re-cover for 2. Re-RE-cover for 2. Angle latches on a bodyscissors, which Haas manages to power out. Both to their feet for some close-quarter fighting, Haas lays in some headbutts before being put to the corner. Angle charges for the corner spear - nobody home! Angle goes to the floor. Haas reaches for Angle as he climbs back up, and gets a hangman for it. Angle uses that to get back in the ring, where he eats a dropkick. They get up and chain wrestle a bit before Angle hits the corner and Haas lands the corner spear. Haas then hits the T-bone suplex for 2. Angle gets hit with a twisting double axhandle from the top rope(!) by Haas, but rolls with it and comes up with Haas in the Anglelock! Haas kicks out of it and rolls Angle into a schoolboy for 2. They get up and Angle catches Haas with the Angleslam (Angle himself landed on his arms, as I recall - this is a major departure from previous versions). DOWN COME THE STRAPS! Angle takes no chances and slaps on the Anglelock/legbar bodyscissors, making Haas tap. No shame in it, they say. And for this match, never. Angle looked great and protected his neck well through this entire match.

Commercials

We come back to have Cole and Tazz talk about the PPV Lineup. I am SO digging the first of the Best of Five matches......

Raw Rebound - Sorry guys, I recap ONE show a night. I think they should instead have the announcers run down the other show's events in a "newsbreak" style, kinda like during college football games.

Commercials.

We're back in time for some Tag Team Title Action! London/Kidman march out in matching white and flame outfits with their initials on the vests. Now all they need is a stylist! (Did I mention I miss Rico?) They're out to face the Bashems, a team that DESPERATELY needs a makeover- or some promos - or something.......

Billy and Danny start. Lockup, armbar to Kidman, Kidman rolls out of it and tries to roll up Danny for a quick win. Only 2. Kidman tags London in, and they give Danny an assisted suplex followed by London doing an assisted Moonsault. Again a 2 count. Paul gives Danny an armbar and tags Billy. He sends Danny to the ropes and drop toe-holds him so that Kidman can do a vaulting legdrop. Doug comes in at some point and gets his hands on Kidman. Poor Kidman gets Ricky Morton duty, leading to the hot tag to London, who is a HOUSE AFIRE~! Everyone in the ring as London takes out both Bashems with his "Dropsault", dropkicking one into a moonsault cover on the other for a 2 count. The Bashem on the floor gets Plancha'd by Kidman (who hits his head on the guardrail - ouch) while London goes for the SWEET 450 splash for the win! The champs celebrate another week with the tag straps!

We peek backstage before commercial, spotting Spike and Rey talking before heading to the ring for their match against the Dudleys.

"Smackdown your vote" ad features Cena comparing voting to basketball.

MY Uncle Paul talks about John Heidenrich like he's the next Brock Lesnar. What is he THINKING?!?

To the ring, Where AIR REY MYSTERIO and SPIKE DUDLEY take on THOSE DAMN DUDLEYS WHO ARE NO LONGER BOYZ. Words are exchanged; Bubba throws his bandana at Spike (who then throws it at D'von). Spike opens against Bubba. Bubba powers Spike around, grinning because he gets to pick on his little brother. Spike surprises Bubba with a headlock takeover. Spike then tags in Rey, who gets a dropkick on Bubba. Bubba tags in D'von, and the two banter about a bit before Rey lands the Springboard Moonsault. Somewhere in the chaos on their side Spike hurts his knee, and aggravates it when he does his stomp from the top rope. It's enough for the ref to check with Spike, then signal the "Ref's X". At this point I thought that Spike was legitimately hurt, as the Dudleys then moved Rey to the other side of the ring to draw attention away from the injury. Bubba taunted Rey as he and D'von set up a two-man gutbuster, then whipping Rey to the ropes to be scooped up in a bearhug by D'von. Spike is helpless as he watches his brothers pick Rey apart. "619? Try 325!" (325 is the area code for Abilene, TX.) Rey gives us hope at points, landing his springboard Thesz press on Bubba and escaping a nasty chop from Bubba. But the brothers from different mothers prevail, decimating Rey with a 3D. Spike, unable to walk, crawls to try to make the save, but arrives too late. Bubba & D'von celebrate as spike helps Rey up. The two are apologizing and checking on each other, when allovasudden spike straightens and gives Rey a HUGE nutshot. Rey manages "Et tu, Spike?" before falling over. The Booing starts up as Spike laughs and turns to his brothers. "We’re not done yet - Bubba, D'von......GET THE TABLES."

Whoa, Spike is the mastermind running the Dudleys now?? Bubba and D'von leave the ring and get a table. Spike gets his belt back and puts Rey on the table, laying the belt across Rey's stomach. Spike then drives Rey through the table with his top rope STOMP. Rey is out cold, the three brothers celebrate all the way to the back.

Commercials.

We're back to see JBL in the ring - looks like we skipped his entire intro. Does that mean he's going to lose to his own promo? "I used to be Texan, but now I live in New York City." Crowd disapproves. "I was looking forward to returning here, and I was to return to a hero's welcome - one I deserved, and one you should be giving me! But you can see tonight, it's more business than usual - I'm not shaking hands, I'm not kissing babies. I've been asked if I'm afraid of the Undertaker. I'm not afraid of him - I'm here to call him out! I'm not waiting til Summerslam!! Come on, Undertaker! Come out and Face me!!"

Bong........Bong....... the lights dim. We see JBL mouth "I'm not afraid" as we cut back to the entrance ramp, where we see....."Mini-Taker". Somewhere, Al Snow is cheering.

"Come on!" JBL demands as mini-taker plods to the ring. "Walk as slow as you want! I'm gonna beat you like a rented mule!" (JR would correct him, that's "gov'ment mule").

Mini-taker gets to the ring and climbs in, forgetting to raise the lights. (I noticed a blatant edit here- those lights came up awful quick) JBL makes fun of the little guy, getting in as many short jokes as he can think of. (After listening to some of those one-liners, I've decided that JBL built his new persona from GW Bush and Foghorn Leghorn.) After two minutes too long of this, JBL decides to show us what he's gonna do to the real Undertaker at Summerslam and hoists the midget up for a Tombstone.

Bong.....bong.....

JBL freaks out as the lights go completely out. The announcers don't seem to realize what's going on and start calling back to the truck to get the lights back up. When they do, the REAL Deadman is standing behind JBL and is not amused. JBL tosses the midget at Taker, but Taker doesn't budge (and the midget bounces). JBL tries to BS his way out of it, and then wheels to take a swing. Taker whips JBL across the ring and feeds him a BIG boot to the face. Before further harm can befall JBL, we have Orlando Jordan dash out and drag JBL to safety. Odd, wasn't Jordan a face about an hour ago?

Undertaker declines pursuing the cowards and drops to a knee in Tribute. The midget gets up and decides to do it too. 'Taker's head snaps in the direction of the midget, giving him "ain't you made enough fun o me?" look. 'Taker then decides to unleash some UNDEAD VIOLENCE on the midget and chokeslams him to cheers. And we're done.

Man, I feel so much better. Really good show tonight, lots of surprises and possibilities from here. Spike's first(?) heel run in the WWE should make for some good tv, the tag team division is fun to watch, Angle is back where he belongs, the US title picture is giving tribute to Booker T's "Best of Seven series"....... no complaints here, not a one.

Now if we could prove that good stories and wrestling could keep Raw afloat instead of robbing them of 20 minutes a night with Raw Diva Crap and Recap crap, we might actually have some great television every week.

Had a blast, guys, hope to do this again soon!