Another week, another Smackdown.

But first: anyone in the Southeast Virginia area should come on out to Hampton and check out VCW Caged! The guys in Vanguard Championship wrestling always put on a good show, and this show, the heavyweight title is being defended by Sean Lei against Phil Brown in a Steel Cage! Not sure how special that is for an indy show, but it seems pretty damn cool for a venue this size.

Anyway, on with the (WWE) Wrasslin!

5-minutes out: Kurt Angle and Eddie Guererro have met countless times. But tonight, it’s 2-out-of-3 falls to finally determine once and for all: Who is the better wrestler?

Smackdown Opening, Pyro, and we are Live! (taped) from Sacramento, CA.
 

from last Thursday and the pinfall with a handful of tights from the show in Australia over the weekend.) He gives us a quick rap about how he’s going to beat Cena 3-1, and as he’s asking us if we can dig THAT…

Here comes Rey Mysterio. Rey has a match against Spike Dudley, and unless Booker wants to wrassle, he’d better shut the hell up and get to stepping. Booker tells Rey that he has to be this tall to talk to Booker. Rey laughs and says that Booker got him. I was so expecting Rey to bust out with, “Yeah, that’s pretty funny. It was even funnier LAST YEAR when Kurt Angle said it!” But I just remain unfulfilled. Rey says that he knows Booker is fed up with the Cena chants, so he offers up a new chant: “6-1-9!” And Rey feels that if the crowd wants a 6-1-9, then he’d better give it to them. Mics get thrown down and they face off…

Only to have Kenzo Suzuki (W/Hiroko) come out to spoil the fun. Kenzo points out that 619 is an American area code, that Rey isn’t American, and that makes him a LIAR! Liar, liar Pants on fire! Kenzo goes on to compare his dazzling smile to Tom Cruise’s and as he’s mugging for the camera, Rob Van Dam is out to lay on a beating. Rene DuPree rushes out to assist, but RVD gets help from Rey and all 4 of them (Booker has taken a powder) are GETTING ROWDY!

This brings out Theodore Long. He says that all these guys are so eager to fight, then it’ll be Kenzo, Rene, and Booker vs. RVD, Rey, and John Cena, who makes his entrance and we go to commercials.

Back and Kenzo and Cena are in the ring. Kenzo gets some offense, tags Booker in, who gets a couple punches in and he tags Rene in, who runs right into a back body drop. Tag to RVD and he flips and flops all around Rene, coaxing Cole to comment on how supple he is. Michael, there are words that heterosexual males just don’t say, one of those is supple when referring to other men! RVD taunts Rene with points-to-self. He doesn’t like that and punches RVD in the mush and drags him to the corner. RVD reverses around and punches away in the corner and goes for a monkey flip, but Rene reverses that into a hotshot on the top rope. Tag to Kenzo, and he pounds Rob down and hits a massive lariat. Cover gets 2 because Rey interferes. Tag to Booker who comes right in with a heel kick. Cover gets two because Cena interferes. At the ref is busy with Cena, Rena and Booker switch without tagging. Those fiends! Rena tries to mat wrestle RVD down, but RVD pulls Rene into the second turnbuckle, rolls backwards to his own corner and tags Rey in. Rey slingshots in with a senton, dropkicks a charging Kenzo back out of the ring, and hits a springboard body press. Cover only gets 2. Rey off the ropes, but Rene is there with the big boot. Rene with the Gay, Gay dance of French Manliness. Rene picks Rey up, but Rey hits a drop toehold on Rene to set him up for a 6-1-9. Before he executes, Rey mocks Rene with his own French Tickler, but takes a kick to the back of the head for his troubles from Booker. Rene struggles up, only to get a Boot to the Head (Yaa! Yaa!) from RVD. As Cena takes Booker out on the outside, RVD is up to the top rope and he hits the 5***** frogsplash. Kenzo in, only to get taken out with a pinning heel kick, and then taking Kenzo out with a slingshot bodypress. Rey finishes what he started by hitting a 6-1-9 on Rene. Rey Drops the Dime on Rene, cover, and Team Cena wins it.

Cole and Tazz hype the rubber match in the Eddie/Angle feud by showing us the footage of Eddie’s win over Angle at Wrestlemania 20.

The Smack of the night is Josh Mathews wrestling debut last week at the hands of Heidenreich.

Back stage, Paul Heyman is locking a door. Here comes Theodore Long, wanting to speak to Johnny. Paul says that in the interest of public safety, Heidenreich is currently behind locked doors. Teddy says that Paul can act as his representative and pass on that because of what he did to Josh last week; he is being fined $5000. Paul blanches and says that Heidenreich doesn’t carry that kind of cash with him. Well then, Paul, being Johnny’s direct representative, can pay the fine for him. And no checks! (Seems Teddy was paying attention during the fall of ECW.) He tells Paul to be very careful with Heidenreich, and to holla, holla, holla! Paul grins and bears it, and then as Teddy walks off, he reaches over, unlocks the door, and walks away.

Tazz and Cole are aghast that Paul may have just set Heidenreich loose on Smackdown, and then throw us to footage of Chavo getting a concussion due to a Kidman Shooting Star Press last week.

Elsewhere, Kidman and Paul are getting ready for a match when Jamie Knoble storms into the locker room. It turns out Jamie didn’t like what Kidman did to his good buddy Chavo last week. He reiterates that Chavo has a concussion and that Kidman could have ended Chavo’s career. Kidman gets a concerned look on his face, but Paul is all, “Whatever, man!” Jamie tells Kidman that he sickens him and leaves. Paul scoffs and tells Kidman not to fall for Jamie’s head games. Kidman, tho, looks like someone just shot his puppy.

Carlito Caribbean Cool doesn’t like it when people don’t try to be cool like him.

Out to the arena, and the New Filthy Animals are out to take on the FBI in a non-title match.

Paul and Nunzio start. They trade waistlocks and chain wrestle until Paul breaks things up with a dropkick. Nunzio charges but Paul back elbows him down then hits an enziguri to send Nunzio out. Nunzio gets his wits about him and Paul does the dick thing and holds the ropes open for him to come back in. Nunzio slaps Paul in the face and that brings both partners out. Ref Charles Robinson breaks things up quick and Nunzio goes to work on Paul with a few dirty hits. Tag to Johnny the Bull and Paul goes flying thanks to a back body drop. Johnny powers Paul all over the place and tags Nunzio in who runs right into a firemans carry slam. Paul with the tag to Billy who is on fire as he takes Nunzio out with a series of clotheslines, dropkicks, and a modified neckbreaker. Cover is interrupted by Johnny, who eats a double dropkick for his troubles (I swear, Paul London is in possession of a personal teleporter, he came out of nowhere with that one.) While Paul takes Johnny out with a senton to the floor, Nunzio is up to hit a side Russian legsweep on Billy. Cover gets 2. Kidman answers with a big dropkick. Billy drags Nunzio to the corner and heads up to the top. He’s about to execute when he suddenly gets cold feet. Paul tries to encourage him to go, but Billy can only climb down and tag Paul in. Paul is perplexed by all this, and gets caught by surprise by a Nunzio backslide and the FBI pick up the surprise win. Paul can’t believe it, but he’s more concerned with Kidmans sudden attack of cold feet. Kidman apologizes profusely and heads out.

As Paul looks after an exiting Billy, He turns around into Heidenreich clothesline that knocks him silly. Heidenreich slingshots Paul into the ropes and hits a pair of shoulderbreakers. He then exits the ring and decides that Cole looks tasty tonight and chases him around the ring. Jumping back into the ring, he tosses Paul London out and Paul Heyman hits the ring and tries to bring Heidenreich under control as we go to commercial.

Back in Theodore Longs office, he has Brian Hebners ear and tells him that he is to bring Paul Heyman to him now. Heidenrich isn’t going to get away with what he’s done tonight. As Hebner scurries off, he turns to address a concern of Torrie’s. Torrie is anxious about The Big Show’s return and is still having nightmares because of her ordeal. Theodore tries to reassure her by letting her know that a condition of his return was to attend anger management therapy. Torrie calls bullshit on this and remains unconvinced that she is safe around Big Show. Teddy tells her that things are different now that he’s in charge and not to worry. She still looks worried, tho.

Out to the ring, and here comes a familiar Limo. Out steps Orlando Jordan (W/ WWE Champion John “Bradshaw” Layfield to provide commentary) and his opponent tonight is Charlie Haas (W/ Miss Jackie.)

AS J”B”L talks about how both he and Orlando have beaten Undertaker, Charlie starts the match by taking Orlando down and mat wrestling him around. Orlando gets away. Lockup and Charlie forces Orlando into the corner. As they break, Orlando explodes out with a double axehandle that takes Charlie down. As the ref looks after Charlie, Orlando heads to a corner and starts taking one of the turnbuckles off. He leaves the pad on, but untied. Orlando goes to work on Charlies back, using the ropes for leverage. Orlando continues to use the ropes to unfair advantage until the ref tells him to get off the ropes, which Orlando does by slingshotting him off. Orlando goes up top and goes for a missile dropkick that Charlie sidesteps and Orlando eats mat. Charlie taking over with fisticuffs and takedowns. Charlie RVD’s himself up to the top and springboards into an axehandle/bodypress combination. Cover gets 2. Charlie looking for a German suplex, but Orlando grabs the ropes and works his way over to the loosened turnbuckle and as he flails, he knocks it off. Charlie pulls him away, but Orlando gets a burst of strength and pulls Charlie into the exposed turnbuckle. Orlando hitting an inverted twist of fate, and it’s 1-2-3 for Orlando.

As Miss Jackie jumps up into the ring and argues with the ref over the decision (and nearly falling out of her top in the process) J”B”L steps up from his position at the announce table and enters the ring. Miss Jackie realizes how precarious her situation suddenly is and cowers in front of Orlando Jordan as J”B”L picks Charlie up and puts him down again with a clothesline from hell.

We go from J”B”L to the Republican National Convention, where Big Show put up with a hyperactive Ivory and told all us 18-30 year olds to vote.

Back, and after a loving shot of the Arco Arena, We get a video package of the fun had in Australia. “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! Oy, Oy, Oy!”

Back to the arena, and the Dudley Boyz (W/ Spike) are out to take on the Grumpy Old Men.

Spike starts things off for his side by slapping Hardcore Holly in the face. They brawl and when the ref separates everyone up, it’s Billy Gunn with D-Von. Billy gains an early advantage until Bubba trips him up. D-Von gets the spinning shoulder block and tags Bubba in. Bubba dominates with power stuff, and tags D-Von back in. They try a double team, but Billy kicks Bubba, clotheslines D-Von, and tags Hardcore in. Hardcore is a ball o’ far until Bubba gets a spinebuster for 2. Hardcore comes back until Spike steps up and clocks Hardcore with a shot from the cruiserweight title. Rollup and pin for Bubba is perfunctory and the Dudz celebrate their win.

Summerslam: the loose shoe didn’t fool Kurt this time, and after many reversals, Eddie finally tapped to the Ankle Lock.

Another Carlito short, this time, he is disgusted by the uncool people around them and snatches some dorks cell phone. I know he’s ostensibly going to be a heel, but if he can keep up the attitude and has the in-ring charisma to match, he’ll be a babyface in no time. I give him until roughly February before the fans are cheering for him.

Raw Rewind: you know the drill.

Tonight’s Smackdown Throwback: Some guy that can’t cut it in the NFL Superplexes the Big Show and collapses the ring in the process.

Back, and it’s time to find out who is the better wrestler.

Kurt Angle is out first, followed by Eddie Guererro in a black Chevy low-rider. No talking, no mugging for the crowd, the bell rings and its go time!

Eddie goes for a leg, Kurt mat wrestles him down and locks in a front face lock. Lockup, and Kurt controls with mat wrestling and Eddie has to sit out to escape. Test of strength: Kurt gains the first advantage, but Eddie powers back up and kicks Kurts legs out from under him and locks in a headlock. Eddie goes for a leg bar, but Kurt scissors out of it and gets back on top, but Eddie starts to get the upper hand until Kurt yanks a hand full of hair. Both men back together and they mat wrestle some more, ending up with an overhead double wrist hold that Kurt breaks up by yanking Eddies hair again. Eddie is all, ‘Ok, if that’s how you want to play it, then fine!” They lock up again, and Eddie counters by grabbing Kurt’s singlet and yanking HIM down. They do a brief comedy bit where Eddie snaps Kurts straps a few times, prompting Kurt to take them off the shoulders. They lock up again and barely get two moves in before Eddie yanks Kurt’s pants down. Kurt bails and pulls his pants up and bails as Eddie gloats to the cheers of the fans. Kurt puts the straps back up and gets back in the ring. He locks up with Eddie, waits until the ref is out of position, then hits a low blow. The ref doesn’t see it, so the match goes on. Kurt goes in for the kill, but Eddie answers with a low blow of his own. The ref DID see this one and awards the first fall to Kurt via a DQ. Eddie can’t believe it as we go to commercial.

Back, and Eddie is stomping a mudhole into Kurt. Kurt charges out of the corner and hits a pair of belly-to-belly suplexes. Kurt with a couple stomps, a vertical suplex, and pin attempt gets 2. Kurt locks in a bear hug. Eddie powers his way up to a standing position, throws a few elbows, and hit’s a belly to belly of his own. It’s not enough, tho and Kurt answers with yet another b2b and covers for two. Kurt locks a surfboard in which evolves into a rear chinlock. Eddie works his way around and throws Kurt into a corner. Eddie charges in, but Kurt dodges and hits the hat trick German suplexes. Kurt cockily goes for an Angle Slam, but Eddie spins around in mid air, locks in a leg scissors, rolls Kurt up, and gets the second pinfall to even the score up at 1 apiece. As Eddie staggers around outside the ring in pain, we go to commercials.

Back, and Kurt has Eddie down on the mat. After a quick replay of the first two falls, Eddie gets up and elbows his way out of the hold. Kurt goes for an angle slam, but Eddie reverses into a hurricanrana. Both men back up, and trading blows. Eddie gets the better of the exchange and hits a head scissors. Eddie goes for the 3 Amigos, but Kurt reverses into a German. Kurt going for another Angle Slam, but this time, Eddie reverses into a DDT. Eddie staggers up to the top rope, but Kurt runs up the buckles and gets a throw off the top. Kurt FINALLY hits the Angle Slam and covers. 1-2-NO! Kurt picking Eddie up, but Eddie gets a shot to the gut and hits the 3 amigos. Eddie going up for the Frogsplash, but Luther Reigns is down to provide a distraction. Eddie fends him off easily, but when he flies with the splash, Kurt moves and Eddie eats canvas. Kurt back up and hitting a second Angle Slam on Eddie and the straps come down again to signal the application of the ankle lock. Eddie is in pain, so he reaches out, grabs the ref, and pulls him into Kurt, knocking them both cold. Eddie gets back up, sees the ref out and gets a sly grin on his face. First order of business: take out Luther with a slingshot body press. Next, go to the announce position and grab a steel chair. Finally, apply said chair to Kurts gut and then back. Luther tries to charge in, but he gets more of the same. Eddie looks to do more damage with the chair, but the ref is stirring, to Eddie slides the chair into Kurts hand and plays possum. The Ref stands up, sees the chair in Kurts hand, and goes ballistic. Kurt tries to beg off, but the ref isn’t hearing any of this. Meanwhile, behind the refs back, Eddie sits up, waves coyly at Kurt, then lays down again. Kurt tosses the chair away in frustration and Eddie can’t contain himself anymore and gets up. As Eddie is laughing, tho, Luther has procured the chair and rams the edge of it into Eddies lower leg. Eddie goes down and Kurt gets past the ref to grapevine Eddies leg up and apply an ankle lock. Eddie holds out as long as he can, but eventually he must tap out. Kurt rolls out of the ring and raises his arms in celebration.

Behind him, however, Luther has jumped into the ring and has begun beating down on Eddie. Kurt sees this, and starts putting two and two together and realizes that he didn’t win this single-handedly. As Luther hits a powerbomb on Eddie, Kurt exits through the curtain, and Luther stands over Eddies prone body and we fade out, get a WWE logo, and we’re outta here.

Two words: Match of! Two more words: The Year! One more word: Candidate!

I can see it losing in the ballots because of the screwy ending, but damn if Eddie and Kurt didn’t put on a hell of a show tonight. This match was a showcase of both mens extensive talents and is a keeper for any collection.

The rest of the show was good as well.  The whole US title scene got showcased in a nice opener. Heidenreich the psycho looks to be a better character than having a mysterious “Little Johnny.” J”B”L should let Orlando wrestle for him every night (personal opinion.) And the suddenly unconfident Kidman could be a well-worked storyline, if done right. Dudz vs. GOM was strictly a throwaway match to showcase Spike’s assholishness, and hopefully, they don’t decide to show us vignettes of Big Show at anger management class.

Good show tonight, see ya next week!