Oh yeah, and VCW is having a show this Sunday night, be there!
 

First out of the gate is Kurt Angle dressed in a suit as Tazz and Cole wonder what Angle’s explanation for his actions last week will be. Well, he’s got a mic, so it looks like we’ll find 

But wait! Here comes Theodore Long. Teddy says that what with Big Show chokeslamming Kurt from the balcony and Kurt shaving Big Show’s head, they are about even, and the only way to really settle this score will be in the ring. And to ensure that things stay fair, Jindrak and Reigns will be banned from ringside and if anyone interferes in the match, then they will be fired right on the spot. Teddy says to holla holla, and we break for commercials.

Back, and Dawn Marie (W/ flashback footage of her getting pinned by Moolah) is out to provide commentary for the Rico and Charlie Haas (W/ the Future Mrs. Haas, Miss Jackie) vs. The Dudleys. Dawn doesn’t waste any time insinuating that Charlie is really hot for her.

Bubba and Charlie start. Lockup and Bubba gets a waist lock. Charlie reverses but Bubba gets a headlock. Bubba with a shoulderblock, but Charlie answers with an armdrag and mat wrestles Bubba back into his corner for the tag to Rico. Rico comes in and the hilarity begins. First, Rico goes for a simulated doggystyle position, this freaks Bubba out, so he goes for the Tag. He tries this with D-Von, but D-Von just beats Rico down for a face-in-peril segment. All this time, Dawn is making lascivious comments about Charlie’s physique, and when Bubba knocks him off the apron, She goes to attend to him, drawing the ire of Miss Jackie. This leads to Charlie getting the hot tag, and while Jackie tries to cheer Charlie on, Dawn makes things physical by throwing a shoe at her. Jackie is all “Oh hell NO!” and THE CATFIGHT IS ON! As Rico goes to pull them apart, Charlie has fallen victim to a 3-D and the Dud’s pick up the duke. Rico gets back in the ring to see to Charlie, Jackie tries to follow, but Dawn hasn’t had enough and it’s time for panty shots galore! Finally, Rico and ref Nick Patrick pull them apart.

Backstage, and Josh Matthews is as giddy as a schoolgirl in expectation of John Cena’s rap about the upcoming rubber match at the PPV Sunday. Cena teases Josh with the possibility of having a rap special for him, but instead, grabs the mic and goes on about how he and Booker are so different, but alike in the one way the counts: their desire for the US title.

Out in the arena, Paul Heyman is screaming franticly. It turns out that Heidenreich has assumed a perch on top of the giant fist. What is he planning? Find out, NEXT!

Back, and Heidenreich has a poem, but first he wants us to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! Basically, it’s the same as before: He’s known a lot of pain in his life, and he’s going to show us all the hell he’s been through. After the poem, Cole laments that the audience has done the unthinkable: they made Heidenreich mad. Tazz tells Cole not to worry about it and throws us to the Undertaker, surrounded by smoke and general spookiness. He is standing next to a hearse and promises that this will be J”B”L’s last ride.

Backstage, and speak of the devil, Here’s John “Bradshaw” Layfield. He’s wondering where Orlando is. Josh asks him what he thinks about his match this weekend, and J”B”L says that he doesn’t care that Undertaker has destroyed every major superstar in the WWF, he’s never beaten J”B”L. J”B”L has a plan, and that plan starts tonight, where John will be taking on the Hardcore legend, Hardcore Holly. This brings Hardcore himself into the picture, knocking J”B”L down and stating that if that’s his plan, then his plan starts NOW (or at least, after these commercials)!

Back, and “Can you dig it, Sucka?” Booker T is out to take on Paul London in a non-title match. In a WWE exclusive video, Paul, while being treated for a broken nose last week, proclaims that he isn’t a quitter, and he can’t wait for his match with Billy Kidman.

Back in the ring, Booker starts things off quick with a beatdown on Paul. Paul gets an elbow up, throwing some rights, then a Dropsault, cover, but only gets one. Booker rakes the face, and takes over with more brawling. During this time, Billy Kidman comes out and stands at the top of the ramp. Paul gets a dropsault, knocking Booker down, and locks eyes with Billy. He takes a few seconds too long getting to the top rope, and Booker dodges the 450 splash, cracking his broken nose. Booker back up, hits a faceplanter, and covers for 3.

Booker gets out of the ring, ponders for a second, then reaches under the ring for a steel chair. Booker back in the ring and looking to use it for nefarious purposes when Billy rushes in and grabs the chair from him, sending him running. Paul is slowly recovering, but Billy waffles him back down with a chair shot. Billy rants at Paul, asking him how he likes him now.

Later, Luther and Mark Jindrak will take on Eddie and a mystery partner of his choice, but up next, J”B”L will take on Hardcore Holly.

You know what Cool is? You’re looking at it, and your wait will be over next week, as that’s when Carlito Caribbean Cool will be making his debut.

Back, and John “Bradshaw” Layfield is out to take on Hardcore Holly in a non-title match.

Bell rings, lockup, and Holly backed into the corner. J”B”L with the cheap shot as the ref tries to break them up and he tries brawling Holly down, but Holly comes back with more brawling. J”B”L with a cheap shot while the ref isn’t looking, hits a neckbreaker, and, you guessed it, brawls Holly down some more. Holly comes back with a back body drop, clotheslines J”B”L out of the ring, and chases after. More brawling outside, J”B”L reverses a whip and Holly eats ring steps. Back in, and J”B”L sets Holly up on the top turnbuckle. Superplex is averted when Holly punches his way out and sends J”B”L to the mat. Holly with the flying bulldog, but cover gets 2. Holly goes for a cross body, but J”B”L catches him and hits the fallaway slam. J”B”L tries for a powerbomb, but Holly reverses into the Alabama Slam. Cover, but J”B”L kicks out after 2 and we need a commercial break.

Back, and Hardcore got busted open during the commercial break after getting hit by the steel ring steps. Nick Patrick is trying to hold J”B”L back, but he just powers past him and delivers a kick to Holly’s head. This is apparently enough for Nick and he calls for the bell, disqualifying J”B”L. I don’t think he really cares, tho, as he continues to pound on Hardcore, beating him around the announce table, blasting him with a chair, and then rolling him back in the ring to deliver a Clothesline from Hell. He grabs a mic and says that this is what will happen to Undertaker. He is interrupted by the lights going down and a “BONG!” Undertaker appears on the Smackatron and says that once, there were four. First Gangrel, then Viscera, now Orlando Jordan. Lights come up and we see Orlando tied to the ‘Taker crucifix high above the audience. J”B”L is slightly put out by this as we go to commercial.

Back, and Nunzio (W/ Johnny Stamboli) is out for a non-title contest against Spike Dudley (W/ the Dudleys).

Nunzio starts with a waistlock, but Spike answers with an arm drag and leg lock. Nunzio back up with a side headlock. Spike tries to get away by going over the ropes, but Nunzio drops Spike on his head. Nunzio going for a quick series of rollups and hitting a Boston crab roll. Spike gets a side headlock, Nunzio whips him off the ropes, but Spike gets the flying head spear. Spike takes Nunzio down with mat wrestling and works a series of headlocks, broken up by brief brawling sessions. Nunzio powers out of a rear chinlock, wrestles Spike down, and reverses a Dudley Dawg into a rollup for the pin. Spike is incredulous as Nunzio celebrates.

Raw Rewind: Stuff happened.

Back, and with the lights dimmed, the Big Show speaks! Last week, Kurt Angle tried to rape Big Show of his dignity. Well, Big Show decided to shave the rest of his hair off, so that every time he looks in the mirror, he’s reminded of Kurt’s attempt to humiliate him. And this Sunday (Shows eyes lit up for effect,) Big Show will have No Mercy!

Back, and we go through a quick viewing of potential contestants for Tough Enough. An extreme fighter, a body builder, a former NFL player (doing body double work on “The Longest Yard”) and at least one indy wrestler, amongst others.

Really back now, and Luther Reigns and Mark Jindrak are out to take on Eddie Guererro and his mystery partner, Rob Van Dam!

Pier 4 brawl to start, finally, we split up to Luther and Eddie. Eddie goes for a quick 3 Amigos, but Luther blocks and gets a powerslam. Eddie shimmies out and tags RVD in, who gets a series of spinning heel kicks and a 5***** frog splash. Mark pulls Luther out and we take a break.

Back, and Jindrak has RVD in a corner, kicking and punching him down. RVD whipped across the ring, but he gets an elbow up and gets a springboard cross body. Jindrak kicks out of a pin, gets a headbutt, but falls victim to a heel kick, then rolling thunder for 2. Tag to Eddie who locks in an Ab Stretch. Luther drawn in and as the ref deals with him, Eddie drags Mark into his corner for some double team action. Eddie pulling Mark out of the corner, chops him down, and gives Mark a close look at the bottom of his boot on his forehead. Mark tries to come back, but Eddie puts him down and tags RVD in. RVD knocking Mark down and going for Rolling Thunder. Luther low bridges RVD and he spills out. Luther abuses RVD for a second before rolling him back in, but the Ref is occupied with Eddie as Mark tries to cover. Ref in and counting, but RVD kicks out. Mark tags Luther in, and they trade off beating on RVD. Luther is back in and locking in a surfboard. RVD fights his way out, but Luther pounds him down and sends him into a corner. RVD gets an elbow up for a charging Luther, and then misses a springboard leg lariat by a mile. He saves with a tornado leg drop and tags Eddie in. Eddie is a Ball O Far as he pounds on Mark and Luther. Mark eats the 3 Amigos and a frogsplash, but Luther is in to break things up with an elbow drop. As the ref deals with RVD, Luther gets a reverse DDT on Eddie. RVD breaks free of the ref and clotheslines Luther out of the ring, but the damage has been done as Mark crawls over and makes the cover. Mark and Luther celebrate up the ramp as Tazz and Cole shoot us to a video package set to what is apparently No Mercy’s shitty theme song. All the feuds are covered, and after seeing Undertaker slam the door of the hearse, we get the WWE logo, and we are outta here.

Well, this was the very definition of a setup show. All the performers got screen time (except Kenzo and Rene, oddly enough) and nothing here was mindblowing, but all was perfectly acceptable. Oh, and was anyone else eagerly awaiting the return of catfighting Dawn Marie?

Anyway, Check the PPV, and I’ll see ya next week!