Tonight, we are invited to celebrate a milestone: J”B”L celebrates being the longest reigning Champion in 10 years! Join us, will you?

WWE leader, and we recap the events leading up to whether or not Batista will jump to Smackdown or not. We climax 

Smackdown opening, we have Pyro and we are Live (taped) from Philadelphia, PA, and later tonight, we are going to have J”B”L’s Celebration of Excellence and Linda McMahon will be showing up to give us the Board of Directors decision on Teddy’s General Managership.

“Viva la Rasa!” Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guererro are out to defend their newly won tag team titles against the guys they won them from, The Bashams.

Eddie starts with Danny, and Eddie gets a few arm drags to start. Eddie with an arm wringer, tag to Rey who gets a head scissors for a 2-count. Tag back to Eddie and he stomps Danny down. Eddie into the corner, gets a boot up for Danny, back suplex, cover gets 2. Danny gets a surprise spinebuster and as Eddie lies motionless on the mat, this is as good a time as any to take our first commercial break.

Back, and Eddie knocks Doug down, but he can’t get a tag because during the break, Danny took Rey out by ramming him into the ringsteps. Eddie fighting Danny and Doug off, but when he goes to check on Rey, it leaves him open for more pounding by the Bashams. Eddie powers out of a surfboard, but gets scoop slammed by Danny and covered for two. Tag to Doug who hits a pump splash. Cover only nets 2, so he locks in a half crab. Eddie struggling to get to Rey, who has recovered, but Doug lets go and takes Rey out. Cole calls it a cheap shot, looked like sound ring strategy to me. Eddie dragged back across the ring and tag to Danny, Danny brawls Eddie down, but falls prey to a dropkick. Danny gets over and tags Doug in, but their timing is off and Doug gets across the ring way too soon and has to stand there and awkwardly wait on Rey to drop the dime. Stereo 10-punch count along, and they both work the Bashams over. Eddie sets Doug up for the 6-1-9, but Danny interferes and Eddie eats the move. Danny in with a back suplex, and Doug gets a flying headbutt and he covers. 1-2-Eddie breaks it up at 2.99995. More brawling, and this time, 6-1-9 connects on Doug, Edie follows up with a frogsplash, then Rey covers for the 1-2-3 and the Champs retain.

We get a picture package of the Angle/Cena match, and we cut to a locker room full of So-called Divas. A knock at the door heralds the arrival of Orlando Jordan, who is dressed rather dapperly and wants the girls at ringside for J”B”L’s celebration of excellence tonight. He says that they should dress accordingly, which means they will all be wearing “evening gowns” that could double as swimsuits.

After commercials, Kurt Angle is out for the latest Kurt Angle Hometown Challenge. Kurt cuts his introduction off and tells the fans to knock it off, that he’s not in the mood. He gets tonight’s jobber out here. It’s Matt Martel and he’s from South Philly. Kurt wants to get it over with, but Matt decides to be a smartass, pulls the mic back and asks Kurt what it was like to lose the #1 contenders match to John Cena. Kurt’s response is understandable as he knocks poor Matt down and chokes him out on the ropes. Suplex, cover, but Kurt wants to play with him some more. Kurt choking him out in the corner. A couple more suplexes, and Kurt pulls Matt up from another cover to apply more punishment. Kurt toys with him for another 20 seconds or so and finally applies the ankle lock. Matt taps instantly.

After the match, Tazz is in the ring to ask Kurt what he thinks of Shawn Michaels’ challenge from Raw. After watching the footage Kurt makes to say something, then throws the mic down and leaves without a word.

Outside, a limo pulls up and it’s more useless eye candy for J”B”L’s celebration. Time for commercials.

America's Top Model... You know if I wanted to watch middlingly attractive stick figures act like primadonna bitches, I'd go to anime conventions... D’oh!

Backstage, Josh Matthews has found Heidenreich scribbling furiously on a notepad (at least, I hope that’s what he’s doing behind that pad…) Josh wants to know why he disqualified himself at No Way Out by hitting Booker T with a chair in the throat. Heidenreich calls Josh a little closer and then reads more poetry, talking about how he has no regard for human life and he’s happy that he may have ended Bookers career.

This shoots us to the story of how J”B”L is still the champ. Back to the present, and a number of tuxedoed and evening gowned people are at ringside to celebrate J”B”L championship.

Backstage, J”B”L is a mess of stitches and bruises. Orlando says that J”B”L is in no condition to go out there tonight and that they could postpone, but J”B”L says that is out of the question. He owes the fans an appearance tonight, and he’ll give it to them. He then goes to gingerly put the rest of his clothes on and after seeing Linda McMahon get set up in Stamford, we go to commercials.

Back, and we’ve got a full band set up. Orlando and the Bashams are in the ring and the J”B”L horns are set up on the ring ropes. Cole and Tazz get into the spirit a bit, with Cole telling Tazz not to drink any of the champagne on air. Orlando kicks things off by calling J”B”L’s reign nothing short of incredible, and wastes no time by heralding him to the ring.

John “Bradshaw” Layfield makes his entrance, hobbling on down, but still taking time to shake hands and kiss the ladies. He painfully enters the ring, hugs all around for his cabinet, and Orlando is on the mic again. He says that it’s only fitting that they honor J”B”L in Philly, a city without class or champions. He then throws it to an opera singer, who gets roundly booed by the audience. After a quick “Cena!” chant, Orlando says that J”B”L will go down in history as the greatest champion of all time, and then unveils an oil painting of the champion (You’ll probably be able to buy your own on WWE auctions later this month.)

J”B”L is handed the mic, and says that while Philly doesn’t have any champions of their own, they can live vicariously through him. He goes on about how he beat Big Show, about how he has proved the naysayers wrong, and reiterates that he simply cannot be beat. He says it’s time to get this party started when…

“Weeeeellllll!” The Big Show shows up. He destroys the set, tosses a few of the tuxedoed guys around, and then hits the ring. J”B”L cowers for a second as Orlando and the Bashams get tossed around and then SURPRISES US ALL by suddenly being not injured and hitting Big Show with a champagne bottle. They start the beat down, but here comes John Cena to provide the rescue for Big Show. Yeah, I can’t believe I just typed it either. Well, their combined forces clear the ring of the bad guys, and this brings Theodore long out. Theodore doesn’t know what’s going to happen with the Board of Directors decision, but as of this moment, He is STILL GM, and he makes the match for tonight: J”B”L and Orlando Jordan Vs. John Cena and Big Show. This takes us to commercials.

Back, and Chavo Guererro is in the ring and Funaki is exercising his right for a rematch tonight. Funaki has barely gotten in to the ring when Chavo starts kicking away and brawling him down. Chavo locks in an armbar and keeps Funaki down until he gets a flying snap mare to get out. Funaki with elbows to the midsection to gain momentum and now firing away with right hands. They exchange a sequence where Funaki goes for the Tornado DDT, Chavo blocks it, Chavo is set up for the Alabama slam, but Chavo holds on, uses the ring ropes for leverage, and sets Funaki up for the Gory bomb. It hits, and the cover and retention is perfunctory.

After the match, Ultimate Warrior-Cito attacks. You and I know him as Paul London. He is pissed that he got screwed out of the title and dropsaults Chavo out of the ring. Tazz and Cole state that “it’s on!” between Chavo and Paul and we go to commercials.

Back, and we have a Handicap match: Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns are out to take on the Undertaker. After Undertaker makes his entrance, Luther bails and leaves Jindrak to the mercy of Undertaker. Jindrak is able to get away occasionally, but Luther is always out of position for a tag. The last time, Mark gets a spinebuster, but Luther is faking having been knocked down. Mark goes for a cover, but Undertaker pulls him in and locks in a triangle choke. Jindrak taps out and Undertaker wins it.

After the match, Luther is pissed that Jindrak lost the match. Jindrak calls bullshit and tells him that he tried to tag out. Luther gets in Marks face, Mark takes a swing, and the fight is on! Both guys brawl around the ring until the Ref squad is out to break things up. While they get that settled, we go to commercials.

Back, and Theodore Long is in the ring, and he wants to know if Philly is having fun, and to give him a holla! He says that he’s been having fun too, but tonight the fun might end, as it potentially might be his last night at GM. He knows that the Board of Directors have reached a decision, and no matter what it is, he is proud to be your General Manager.

“I spit in the face of those who are not cool!” This brings Carlito Caribbean Cool out, and he corrects Teddy by saying that Teddy meant “I’m proud to have BEEN your GM.” Carlito predicts that Teddy is about to be fired, and that THAT is cool.

This brings Linda McMahon up on the Smackatron. She says that the BoD has reviewed Teddy’s performance, and while yes, he has shown bias and questionable judgment during his reign, they feel that it has been for the good of Smackdown, therefore, the BoD has decided to retain Theodore Long as Smackdown General Manager. Oh and Carlito, stop calling, we don’t want to hear it anymore!

HUGE Teddy chant for this, and Teddy has a mic and tells Carlito that next week, he’d better be at work early, and if he thought that life was tough before, it’s going to be a living hell now. And, in the words of Carlito, “That’s cool!” Carlito pitches a fit, and we go to commercials.

HHH as Braveheart Road to Wrestlemania commercial. Still pretty funny, but I really wanted to see the Pulp Fiction one.

With 15 minutes left, John Cena and the Big Show are out to take on John “Bradshaw” Layfield and Orlando Jordan. J”B”L is till selling a limp. Bad guys jaw jack with good guys and with 10 minutes left, we go to commercials.

Back, and Big Show is slapping Orlando around. Orlando gets tossed around and Big Show throws him at J”B”L, demanding that he tag in. J”B”L begging off, so Show tags Cena in who controls until J”B”L trips him up. Cena now playing face in peril until Big Show charges past the ref to take out J”B”L and Orlando. Both heel’s beat down, Show stacks them up in the corner, hits a big splash, then levels Orlando with a shoulderblock. J”B”L is down outside and not getting up. Cena pumps up, "You can’t see me," 5-knuckle shuffle, F-U, cover, pin, and that’s that. Cena shows off the spinner belt, J”B”L cowers with the WWE Championship, Fade out, WWE logo, and we’re outta here!

Good follow-up show. I like where they are going with everything and the Teddy Long announcement made for some good TV. Oh yeah, and Cena didn’t talk. To steal a phrase, “That’s cool!”

See ya next week!