WM21: they rerun the Eugene Gump one. I still haven’t seen the Booker T/Eddie “Pulp Fiction one.

Back, and while Josh Mathews waits for John Cena outside, Booker T is out for a No Disqualification match against “Hei! Den! Heidenreich!”

They square off to start, and as Booker comes in, Heidenreich kicks Booker in the gut and starts with the beatdown. Booker gets an elbow up for a charging Heidenreich and gets a brief flurry of offense before Heidenreich takes over again. Sidewalk slam leads to Heidenreich choking Booker out on the ropes. Boots and fists in the corner, but Booker Hulks up, fires off a couple chops, and then, taking advantage of the no DQ, kicks a big one between the uprights. Booker drags Heidenreich out and gets a couple shots in, but Heidenreich comes back with a couple rights and bounces his head off the announce table. Heidenreich goes for the chair, but Booker gets a boot to the gut. Heidenreich reverses the follow-up whip into the ringpost. Booker clotheslined over the barricade and Heidenreich works him over in the crowd a bit. Back to the ring, and Booker gets another explosion, but Heidenreich ends that with a big clothesline. Heidenreich goes outside and gets a steel chair. As he’s positioning it JUST RIGHT in the middle of the ring, Booker gets up and hits a scissors kick into the chair. Heidenreich back up, but Booker knocks him down again with a superkick. Booker grabs the chair, and after a primal scream, pastes Heidenreich GOOD across the face. Cover, and the 3-count is perfunctory. Booker celebrates and Heidenreich is prone as we go to commercials.

Back, and after a quick shot of the outside of the Roanoke Civic Center, we get a quick review of the Toolbox’s challenge of the Undertaker from Monday.

Backstage, and Theodore Long is on the phone with CRZ and doesn’t know what Cena’s going to do when he gets here. Carlito comes in complaining about having to shovel snow and being sick all week. Teddy moves the subject on to Orton’s challenge of ‘Taker. He wonders what ‘Takers response will be, and Carlito admits that he’s curious as well, but wonders what is has to do with him. Teddy says that it’s Carlito’s job tonight to go find out. Carlito protests, but Teddy dangles the pink slip and Carlito sullenly goes off in search of the Undertaker.

Elsewhere, Rey likes Eddie’s new T-shirt when Chavo comes in and wishes them luck in their match. He says he’d hate to see them lose, because then he’d be the only Guererro wearing gold. Eddie says Chavo doesn’t have to worry about it, that they have no intention of losing tonight. Chavo says ok, begs off, and as he leaves, Rey and Eddie wonder what brought that on.

Back from commercials, and Carlito is searching for the Undertaker in an uninhabited area of the arena when the lights suddenly go off, prompting him to scream like a little girl. The camera pans to show that it was just a stagehand saying he didn’t think anyone was back there. Now that was funny stuff.

Out to the ring, and Luther “Buttercup” Reigns is on his way to the ring when Mark Jindrak ambushes him. Mark keeps the heat up until they get into the ring, where Luther takes over. Luther puts the beat down on Mark until Mark hits a short clothesline. Mark follows up with a dropkick, a cross body in the corner, and a flying cross body off the top. Luther kicks out, but as they exchange punches, Mark hits the Devastating Left Roundhouse to knock Luther out. Cover, 1-2-3, and Mark wins. He’s favoring the left hand, but he’s at least getting a lukewarm response from the crowd.

Out in the garage, apparently John Cena has walked to the arena from the airport, picking up a lead pipe along the way. He brushes Josh Mathews off, saying his business is in the ring, bashes the door with the pipe before he enters and we go to commercials.

Back, and Cena apparently has issues with the ringsteps, as he’s wailing away mercilessly on them with the pipe. He grabs a mic in the ring and says that he and J”B”L have a few things in common: they both like to break things. J”B”L likes to break titles, and Cena likes to break faces. He says that they need to finish this, and calls J”B”L and his entire cabinet out. They don’t respond, so he tells them to leave the security guys behind and come out. When this doesn’t work, he issues the challenge a third time and this finally brings out…

Theodore Long. He says that he’s willing to cancel the tag title match to give Cena a rematch against Orlando tonight. Cena doesn’t want that, he wants to kick some ass tonight. Teddy says that can’t happen, because he’s not going to jeopardize his Wrestlemania main event. Cena pouts that they destroyed the US title (Sorry John, J”B”L destroyed a gussied up vanity belt, not the US title,) and Teddy commiserates, but he can’t let Cena do something rash tonight. Cena says that Teddy has to handle his business, and Cena has to handle his. Cena points out that either you’re a part of the solution, or part of the problem, and since Teddy won’t let Cena have a crack at J”B”L, he’s a part of the problem. Cena caps it with an FU on Teddy, and the crowd… doesn’t know what to think but they halfheartedly get behind Cena and his action. Cena storms off and we go to commercial.

Moments ago, Cena acted like a 6^th grader and took out his aggression in the wrong place.

The Gold Medal is hanging above the ring under the watchful eye of VCW’s own Phil Brown (Security guard), and a ladder is set up. Kurt Angle is out, and after throwing us to footage of the seminal ladder match at Wrestlemania X, he says that he’s not impressed, and wants to bring his next Kurt Angle invitational victim out and all he has to do is beat him in Kurt’s first ever ladder match. Mike Heywood is out, and he doesn’t even get his hometown out before Kurt pastes him, beats him down, and throws the ankle lock on. After Mike is no longer a threat, Kurt tosses him out of the ring, and calmly grabs a mic, climbs the ladder, and takes his medal. Kurt says that that wasn’t so hard, that he didn’t even use the ladder as a weapon because he IS a weapon. He shows us footage of Wrestlemania 5 and Shaun Michaels first ever Wrestlemania entrance, as a part of the Rockers. He then goes on to tell us that next week, he’s set up a match between he and Marty Janetty, the Rockers strength. Kurt predicts that he’ll take Marty down and show Shaun how to tap. He grins menacingly and we go to commercials.

This week’s Wrestlemania Recall is the raping of Mean Gene and Bobby the Brain last year by Moolah and Mae Young.

Josh Has Big Show cornered and asks him his thoughts about Akebono accepting his challenge and wanting it to be a sumo match. Big Show reiterates that it would be his honor to accept the match. Josh is concerned that Big Show may be out of his element in a sumo match. Big Show says that Akebono is 6’ 8”, 480 lbs; Big Show is 7’1”, 470 lbs. Between the two of them, there will be almost 1000 lbs in the ring. He’s confidant that he’ll be able to beat Akebono at his own game.

As Tazz and Michael Cole marvel at the prospect of Big Show vs. Akebono, they give us a rundown of the matches at Wrestlemania.

Backstage, Carlito is still looking for Undertaker. He can’t find him, but Torrie Wilson does find him and scares the wits out of him when she taps him on the shoulder. Carlito says, “Screw this” and decides to head to the ring, but not before ranting to Torrie in Spanish, something about being dead…

Sin City. Oh, baby!

Back, and Carlito is tired of looking for the Undertaker, so he’s coming out to call the Undertaker out and get an answer from him. He asks for the answer with all due respect, and that if he could do that, "t-t-that'd be cool..."

“Bong!” Undertaker shows up in a mist of smoke and blue light. After going through the whole disrobing ritual, Carlito stammers through asking again, and ‘Taker grabs him in a goozle. “Many men have tried to make a name for themselves by facing the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. And come Wrestlemania 21, Randy Orton will REST IN PEACE!” For his troubles, Carlito eats a tombstone piledriver, and the undertaker gets a somewhat more positive response than Randy did on Monday.

Backstage, J”B”L and Orlando are walking and predicting that they are going to bring home all the gold (except the cruiserweight title.) J”B”L has the Extra security guys stand watch while he and his Cabinet head to the ring.

“Viva la Rasa!” Eddie Guererro and Rey Mysterio are out to defend the Tag Team Titles against John “Bradshaw” Layfield and Orlando Jordan (W/ The Bashams.)

J”B”L and Eddie start. Eddie powered into the corner to start, but Eddie is not intimidated at all. He slaps J”B”L and ducks a clothesline. Eddie getting some arm drags and hip tosses, and J”B”L tags out. Eddie wants Orlando to do his gullwing pose, and Orlando complies and gets a poke in the eye for his troubles. Tag to Rey, and after a couple dropkicks and some punchy-kicky, Eddie tagged back in and he works Orlando’s ankle. Tag back to Rey, and he comes in with some kicks, but Orlando brawls his way out of his predicament. Tag to J”B”L and they hit a double shoulderblock. J”B”L loses track of Rey for a second, but grabs him for a powerbomb. Rey has some punches to J”B”L’s head for him and he falls over. Tag to Eddie who distracts the ref so Rey can use the tag rope on J”B”L. Eddie with a snapmare, and tagging Rey in. Rey falls prey to the power offense and J”B”L tags Orlando in. Rey manages to get a senton, but after the Bashams distract the ref, J”B”L is in with a big boot. Eddie goes on the chase, but the Ref keeps everyone apart and ejects the Bashams. A good a time as any to take a commercial break.

Back, and J”B”L is in control of Rey. After a suplex, he hits a fallaway slam that sends Rey rolling all the way out of the ring. J”B”L goads Eddie into the ring to that Orlando can pound on Rey on the outside. Back in the ring, and J”B”L covers, only to have Rey come up at 2. J”B”L keeps pounding on Rey, and then locks in the bear hug. Rey punches his way out, but J”B”L is able to hang onto a leg as he tags Orlando in. Orlando cuts off a couple attempts to tag and locks in a bear hug of his own. Rey boxes Orlando’s ears, and drop toeholds OJ into the ropes, but is too weak to follow up. Eddie tries to hold OJ down, but the Ref breaks it up and as he’s admonishing Eddie, J”B”L holds Rey for a free shot from OJ. Tag to J”B”L and he sets Rey up on the top turnbuckle. Rey fights his way out and hits a tornado DDT. Rey with the slow crawl, tag to Eddie, and he’s a Casa en Fuego! He pounds J”B”L down and sends him out of the ring. He trips Orlando up and he falls into the ropes. Rey takes advantage and goes for a 6-1-9. J”B”L has a chair on the outside and catches Rey with it as he’s coming around. The ref calls for the bell and this brings the Bashams down to commence the beatdown. Eddie holds his own for a bit, but he can’t stay alive in the face of the Basham’s onslaught and goes down. Right about then, Cena appears out of the crowd with his trusty lead pipe in hand to deliver a beatdown on everyone. Both Bashams and Orlando knocked down, J”B”L put down and he rolls out of the ring. Turnaround slam for Danny, Doug gets bodyslammed out of the rings into the waiting arms of the security, and Orlando gets an FU. Cena and J”B”L lock eyes, J”B”L cradles his title, fade out, WWE logo, and we’re outta here.

So this is the way they are going to push Cena into the Wrestlemania Main event? By having him act like a 6^th grader with too much chocolate in his system? Everything else was ok (heck, Booker was even able to pull a decent match out of Heidenreich) but Cena’s anger didn’t come off as righteous indignation. It came off as a schoolyard tough who just got slapped by a smaller kid and can’t handle it. And one lesson that I hoped the WWE learned this week: punking out your GM’s on their shows does not always = good TV.

See ya next week!