Anyway, The WWE leader is running, so on with the wrasslin!

Cold open from Kansas City, Mo, and Theodore Long is in the ring telling us that the draft lottery on Monday changed the foundation of Smackdown FOREVAH! We are sent to footage of Chris Jericho introducing Cena. Back to Teddy, and while he’s happy for Cena, he’s kinda bummed that Smackdown is currently without a champion.

“DINGDINGDINGDING!!” As if on cue, here comes John “Bradshaw” Layfield. He’s here to make Teddy’s job easier. You see, he is sorry to see John Cena leave, because now we’ll never see who the better man is. But going beyond that, in the lack of a champion, J”B”L is ready to step up as the leader and new Smackdown Champion. He butters himself up as the only viable option. Teddy, tho, is right there to pop J”B”L’s bubble, and say that the decision has been reached that NO DECISION will be made in the determination of the Smackdown champion until AFTER the draft lottery is over. Speaking of which, Teddy has Smackdown’s first pick ready to come out. He’s main-evented Wrestlemania, he’s a former world champion, and now, he’s coming home. “Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome home, CHRIS BENOIT!!!”

HOLY SHIT, CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY! Our Lady Peace fires up and here comes the Wolverine! Crowd pops huge. J”B”L throws a hissy fit and says that Smackdown is HIS show. Chris grabs the mic back, and says that first off, he’s PSYCHED! to be back. And then he turns his attention to J”B”L. He admits that J”B”L has done a lot, and he’s even done something that Benoit has never done: QUIT! Audience plays right along and offers up a “You Quit!” chant. “Majority says, you quit!” Benoit wonders why a man that quit should be given the championship, and then proclaims that he’s ready to FIGHT for it! He’s sick of seeing J”B”L get his way, and says that things are gonna start changing, NOW! J”B”L tells him to hold up, and says that he’s a big fan of Benoit’s. He talks about the championships that he’s won. He says that’ he’s a bonafide hall-of-famer and is proud of everything he’s done. Except one. ECW. He says that a superstar like Benoit wanting to associate with ECW is like Wolfgang Puck wanting to work at Jack-in-the-box. That it’s like Joe Montana wanting to play for Kansas City. He says that Paul Heyman and the rest of the ECW guys (who probably have been bagging groceries at Albertsons the past 5 years) are bush league and the Benoit is better than that and he’s disgusted the he’d associate with them. He singles out Balls Mahoney as being a particular blight, and says that if Benoit actually shows up for One Night Only, that J”B”L and Bischoff will take their respective armies and make sure that it’s the worst decision Benoit’s ever made in his life. Benoit gets on the mic and says that he has never regretted nor will he ever regret his association with ECW, and that he’d rather see a man walk around the ring with a steel chair then a man in a coat and tie begging and pleading for a championship. He throws a quick “You quit!” for emphasis, and says that he’s all about the here and now, and seeing as how the both of them are on Smackdown tonight, lets find out who the better man is, TONIGHT! J”B”L says that this is HIS show, and that the new guy doesn’t make the rules. He tells Teddy to explain this to Benoit. Teddy grabs the mic and says that this isn’t J”B”L’s show, it’s the PEOPLES show. And since the idea was thrown out, he thinks it’s a positively super idea and makes Benoit vs. J”B”L for later tonight. J”B”L doesn’t’ like the idea, and tries to sucker punch Benoit. Benoit dodges and J”B”L goes for a German Suplex ride for his troubles. Benoit tries to get a crossface, but J”B”L gets out and backs up the ramp. Benoit stares him down.

Later tonight, Booker T goes out to defend his wife’s honor. Cole promises that this might be the end of the feud. Ohh, you promise so much, Michael Cole. Please come through this time.

“I spit in the face of people who don’t want to be cool!” Carlito Caribbean Cool (W/ Matt Morgan) is down to take on Charlie Haas (W/ Hardcore Holly).

Bell rings, they circle, and Carlito starts out with a kick and a headlock to start. Charlie powers out and knocks Carlito down with a couple shoulder blocks and gets an arm drag or two to take over. Carlito picked up, shoulderbreaker, followed up with a knee to the sternum. Cover gets 2. Both men in the corner, fighting over control. Carlito reverses a whip to the corner and hits a clubbing blow to the back. They fight for a minute and Carlito kicks Charlie to reverse a backdrop, Carlito off the ropes, but Charlie is there with a standing dropkick. Carlito follows up with a back body drop and goes nuts in the ring. He tries to go off the ropes, but Matt grabs the boot. Matt up on the apron and trying to manhandle Charlie. Carlito charges, but Charlie dodges and Carlito runs into the brick wall that is Matt Morgan, knocking him off. Charlie goes even more nuts and decides that a tope suicida is the thing to do. He leaps over and nearly breaks his own neck when he falls just barely short of the mark. He’s ok though as he’s up and screaming. Back up on the apron and he shoulders Carlito through the ropes. Charlie comes in via sunset flip, but Carlito grabs the ropes and Matt is there to help. Hardcore runs interference on Matt, but Carlito reverses the flip and grabs a handful of tights to score the cheap win. Hardcore is in the ring to exact some justice, but Matt is in the ring and delivering boots to the good guys. He picks up Charlie and hits the browser refresh and he and Carlito scurry off.

Back on Raw, ECW invaded and kicked mucho ass.

This Sunday, RVD will be at ECW One Night Stand.

Back, and Heidenreich is making Chris Benoit his bestest friend. Chris gives Heidenreich an “ooooo kay!” and turns around, right into Eddie Guererro. Eddie is reminiscing about how they came up together and how they were both champions after Wrestlemania last year. He says that he’s glad that Benoit is back on Smackdown, and that he’ll always be his best friend. Benoit calls bullshit, and points out that he’s seen how Eddie treats his friends. Benoit digs the knife in a little deeper by pointing out that Eddie just can’t seem to beat Rey Mysterio, and leaves him to steam.

Josh Matthews has Kurt’s ear. Kurt talks about his molesting of Sharmell and gets a little too into it. I retch.

Commercials. Season Finale of the stupid Britney “reality” show. Either time has flown really fast, or this wasn’t on for long. Either way, thank god Britney is off my TV.

Back and Paul London is out to do backflips and have a non-title match against Akio (W/ new entrance and ring attire. I have a pair of pajamas like that…)

They get about four reversals in before Eddie Guererro decides to come out. Paul is a dumb fuck who wonders what Eddie is doing there and while he gawks, Akio takes over with a couple dropkicks. Something happens in the ring, but that’s not important, because Eddie is sauntering to the ring. He gets in the ring and grabs a mic and says he has something to say. Paul dropkicks Akio into Eddie. Edie takes umbrage and throws Akio out through the turnbuckles. Paul is next as he gets in Eddie’s face and is kicked and tossed out of the ring. Eddie tries to talk again, but Paul isn’t about to go down without a fight. Eddie dispatches him to the opposite side and tries again, but Paul is a tenacious little cockroach and it takes Eddie a third try to send him out and to stay out. Eddie says that THAT is why he’s out here tonight. He gets no respect, not from wrestlers, not from the fans. He hates that the fans think that he can’t beat Rey Mysterio, and he reminds us that he’s left Rey lying in a pool of his own blood on multiple occasions. Yeah, he hasn’t beaten him, but he’s the one still walking right now. He has promised that he’ll beat Rey, and he ALWAYS keeps his promises.

Up next: FINALLY we get the end of the Kurt/Booker bullshit (we hope)

TLC is looking to replace Left Eye. You thought that the Destiny’s Child melodrama was bad? Just wait until they tart dealing with these wannabe divas…

Back, and Kurt Angle is out for his (apparently) Sharmell-on-a-pole match with Booker T.

But first, Kurt wants to know what side Tazz is on. WWE, the company who signs his paychecks, or ECW. Kurt, feeling magnanimous, gives Tazz until the end of the evening to decide.

Booker T (W/ Sharmell) is out. Bell rings, and Booker T is laser-like intensity on Kurt with the staredown. Booker powers Kurt into the corner and has to break. Kurt off the ropes, and he gets a shoulderblock, but Booker comes back with arm drags and a fujiwara armbar. Kurt powers up and pulls the hair to gain the advantage with an armbar of his own. Kurt working the arm and shoulder. Booker powers him to the ropes and gets shoulders to the gut. Kurt in the corner, and Booker with the knife-edge chops. Booker chokes Kurt out on the ropes, and then hangs him over the top. Booker out, scissor kick off the ropes! Kurt hits the deck and Booker pounds on him on the outside. Kurt rolled in, but he’s waiting on Booker to come back in. Kurt gets some rights and he brawls Booker around the ring. Booker comes back, and gets the back kick to the chin. Instead of covering, he rains down the closed fists. Couple knife-edges, and Kurt sent to the corner, but he dodges the charge and grabs a quick German to put both men down. Kurt is up first and goes back to stomping Booker’s shoulder and ribs. Kurt with a backbreaker, but cover only gets 2. Kurt with a back suplex, but that only gets 2. Kurt gets the body scissors on Booker. Booker fighting up and gets out with a couple elbows to the head. Booker off the ropes, but Kurt grabs him and hits a belly-to-belly. Kurt stalking Booker and he goes in for the kill, but Booker surprises him with a back body drop and Kurt falls all the way to the floor! Both men are down (Booker in the ring, Kurt out) and we are off to commercials.

High Tension is out tomorrow. Let me just give my quick, one paragraph review here:

*Spoilers for High Tension ahead*

I saw where an awesome movie could have been brought out of this. I could see where with just a few changes in how a scene was shot or set up, this could have been an incredibly scary film. As it was tho, it was barely serviceable as a horror film. You know that ominous "whoosh" sound that's used to indicate something menacing just passed the viewers field of vision? The sound engineer must have had a SERIOUS hard on for it, because it was used WAY too much. Also, the main character, Marie, you lose sympathy for her the instant shit goes down. I mean, she sees her best friend's father get stabbed in the face with a knife and what does she do? Scream? Run down and try to save the rest of the family? Nope, she HIDES ALL EVIDENCE OF HER EXISTANCE IN THE HOUSE! Great friend! And the SHOCKING TWIST? The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off because it made NO FUCKING SENSE! I mean, when we found out that the "The Village" was actually set in modern day, it made sense. It was convoluted and weak, but it made sense. In High Tension, there are so many holes in the plot with regards to the twist that the Swiss are jealous. Well, that's French filmmaking for you.

*End spoilers*

Oh wait, we’ve got Smackdown going on. Back, and Kurt has a bearhug locked in, but Booker gets out with a neckbreaker.  Booker pouring on the offense with the rights, then a flying forearm to put Angle down. Move reversal sequence ends with the Book-End. Cover. 1-2-NO! Tazz channels his inner Jedi and says he’s got a bad feeling about this. Kurt gets behind Booker and hits one German Suplex. 2 German suplexes. 3… no, Booker blocks and reverses into a rollup for 2. Kurt up and hits the Angle Slam. Kurt tells Sharmell “You’re next!” and slaps on the ankle lock. Booker rolls through and Kurt eats turnbuckle. Booker follows up with a spinebuster, and it’s SPINERRONIE TIME! Booker gets a kick, axe kick, and cover for 1-2 NO!!! Kurt kicks out and picks the ankle and slaps on the ankle lock. Sharmell begs and pleads for her husband to make the ropes, and make the ropes he does. Kurt flails around after having to break the hold and takes the ref out. Ref is down, so Kurt goes after the steel chair. Back in the ring, Kurt nails Bookers foot with the chair. Kurt waits for Booker to get back up and goes for the Coup de Grace, but Booker falls and Kurt bounces the chair off the ropes and smacks himself in the face. Sharmell has a good laugh at this, and Booker recovers enough to hit the scissor kick. Booker covers. Ref is back around and counts. 1! 2! 3!!! Booker T wins! Booker rolls out and is greeted by his wife and they make their way up the ramp as we go to commercials. Ok, now it was a shitty angle, but it had an awesome payoff!

Back, and Kurt is still in the ring in a daze. Moments ago, Booker won to regain his wife’s honor. Back to now, and Kurt gets out of the ring. As he saunters by the announce table, Tazz mentions that Kurt has his tail tucked between his legs. This gives Kurt pause. He stops, picks up a chair, grabs a mic, and goes face to face with Tazz. Kurt says that he wants an answer NOW! Tazz stands up, takes off the sunglasses, takes off the headset, and gets in Kurt’s face. Kurt says that if Tazz doesn’t give Kurt an answer, and if he doesn’t give Kurt the answer he wants, then he’s going to take the chair, unfold it, and take a seat right next to Tazz, and sit there all night until Tazz DOES give him an answer. Kurt then dos exactly like he said and sits next to Tazz. Tazz, being no dummy, doesn’t take his eyes off him for a second. They sit like this for a minute or so before Kurt finally says, “it’s ok Tazz. If you don’t’ want to give me an answer now, then you don’t have to.” As Kurt gets up to leave, Tazz lets down his guard for an instant and Kurt whirls and nails him with the microphone. Tazz goes down and as he’s beneath the announce table, Kurt whacks him with the chair. Kurt then grabs the mic again and tells Tazz that he, Bradshaw, and their army will team with Eric Bischoff’s army, invade ECW, and wipe them off the face of the earth. Kurt throws the mic down, and walks away. As Tazz is down, the trainers come down and see to him. A “Tazz” chant starts up and he tries to make it to the back on his own, but stumbles a couple times. We are off to commercials.

Back, and with the moments ago footage, Cole gets INTENSE by all but calling Angle a pussy for not facing Tazz man to man.

“Hei! Den! Heidenreich!” is out to take on Rory Fox. But first, Heidenreich is going to find a new friend! He goes looking around, and finds a new friend in a decidedly NOT childlike, rather yummy looking lady at ringside. He picks her up over the barrier and is leading her up the ramp when Rory Fox makes the mistake of attacking him from behind. Heidenreich grabs a double goozle, spinebuster, and that’s it for Rory. Heidenreich reads his latest disaster piece, the tasty dish cheers him on, they do the Heidenmarch, and it’s off to the Raw Rewind. They should have left it with the footage of the ECW invasion.

Back, and Tony Chimel announces that the special guest announcer for this match is none other than Paul Heyman! Paul is out to the Theme to ECW, and is followed out by The Dudleys, Tommy Dreamer, Rhyno, and The Sandman. Cole wonders what’ll happen next. So do I, as we go to commercials.

Back, and the ECW superstars are surrounding the announce table. Chris Benoit is out to take on John “Bradshaw” Layfield (W/ Don King… err… ECW’s sacrificial lamb… err… Orlando Jordan) Both men are reluctant to enter the ring until the Bashams come out for reinforcement. J”B”L in the ring, bell rings, a little jaw jacking, and it’s on!

Lockup, both men into the corner and J”B”L gets a cheap shot on the break. Benoit answers with chops and sends J”B”L out. Benoit gets J”B”L back in the ring and chops the living shit out of J”B”L! J”B”L gets a clothesline and controls for a second, but Benoit reverses a side headlock into a northern lights suplex. Benoit goes for a sharpshooter, but J”B”L doesn’t cooperate and makes the ropes. J”B”L gets a boot to take over, but takes too long while posing before going for the powerbomb and Benoit leg sweeps him and locks in a sharpshooter. The Bashams are up on the apron to distract Benoit, but after chasing them off, he locks it in again. Carlito and Matt Morgan join the Cabinet to even up the sides and we go to commercials with a standoff.

Back, and J”B”L has taken over and is clubbing Benoit down. Benoit sent into the corner where he bounces halfway back into the ring. J”B”L taunts the ECW guys, and goes back to work on Benoit. Sleeper hold applied, Benoit tries to make to ropes. Benoit down to both knees, and the arm drops once, but not twice. Benoit powers up and gets a suplex, and both men are down. Cole says that this could be the turning point, and Heyman, calling it right down the middle, says that it’ll be a turning point IF and ONLY IF Benoit can capitalize. Ref’s count gets to 8 and both men are back up. Exchange of right ends with a hat trick Germans. Kurt Angle decides to make his appearance as Benoit hits the diving headbutt. Cover gets two, so Benoit turns him over into the cross face. Kurt wastes no time in breaking it up, and before the ref can even call for the bell, it’s a pier 14 brawl! ECW and Smackdown collide in the middle of the ring. DVD’s, 3-D’s, and Cane shots, Oh My! Tazz heads down to the ring, followed by Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten. Before he can get his hands on him, Kurt bails, so Tazz settles on slapping the Tazzmission onto Danny Basham. Orlando Jordan eats a Dudley Death Drop, and Matt Morgan eats steel courtesy of Balls and Axl. Tazz points Kurt out and says that on Sunday, His ass belongs to Tazz. Chaos rules in the ring, we fade out, WWE logo, and we are outta here!

Now THAT is how you set up a PPV. Everything in this show was a total markout moment. And that was just the ECW stuff. Even the WWE stuff was very good. Charlie and Carlito was a good show, Angle vs. Booker was nothing short of awesome, and sure Benoit/J”B”L went to a non-finish, but that’s ECW, BABY! Even Heidenreich was perfectly used as a nice palette cleanser before the main event. Words can’t describe how great I think tonight’s show was, and I’ll be at Hooters Sunday night, joining in the “EE-CEE-DUB!!” chants.

I know I just got back, but next week, I’ll be taking off for yet another anime con, this one Anime Mid-Atlantic in Richmond. After that, I’ll be back and with you for the rest of the summer.

See ya in 2 weeks!