WWE SMACKDOWN! LIVE from Hershey, Pennsylvania On UPN (Taped 06.14.05, Aired 06.16.05).

A cold open to the show, with a recap of the Draft Lottery pick from last week – Chris Benoit. The intro follows.

Cole & Tazz hype up the Draft Lottery and that leads to JBL & The Cabinet in the ring. JBL says he finally has the stench of ECW off him, claims that HE was successful for the pay-per-view, and runs down the promotion some more. He keeps running his mouth saying he’s the reason SmackDown is so successful for a myriad of reasons, and gets ready to hit the “WRESTLING …GOD” shtick – except that Chris Benoit’s music interrupts before he says “GOD” and we have our first…

MATCH (1): Chris Benoit vs. Doug Basham with JBL, Danny Basham and Orlando Jordan at ringside.

This was pretty much a by-the-numbers match – nothing too boring, but nothing to write home about either. Benoit started off with offense and some mean chops. Back and forth action until Benoit gets the edge and goes for the diving head butt – until Danny knocked him off the top rope before he can execute the move. Benoit eats a suplex from Doug which leads to a two count, and Benoit gets the win with a quickie rollup.

POSTMATCH: A four-on-one beat down of Benoit ensues. JBL grabs the mic and says: “Benoit – I am Mr. SmackDown! Get ready to feel the wrath of a WRESTLING … GOD!”

The lights darken and then … *DONG*. Holy crap, The Deadman is back and he’s already in the ring when the lights come back up. JBL ducks out, and Undertaker cleans house. JBL demands to know WHY he’s here because JBL is Mr. SmackDown, yadda yadda yadda. Teddy Long sneaks up behind JBL and answers that question for him by setting up tonight’s Main Event – JBL vs. The Undertaker in a No Disqualification match!

(insert ads here)

We’re back, and Cole hypes up Big Show vs. Matt Morgan later tonight. Eddie Guerrero comes out and he doesn’t look happy. We get a look at last week’s events when he interrupted Paul London’s match, which set up this next…

MATCH (2): Eddie Guerrero vs. Cruiserweight Champion Paul London in a non-title match.

Paul kicks things off right away by attacking Eddie as he slides into the ring. This was actually a pretty good back-and-forth match. One thing that irked me though – Paul is the Cruiserweight Champion, correct? He got a near fall on Eddie, and Cole said that it would have been a “huge upset” if he had pinned him right there. What the hell? I guess we know who is going to win this match now, and you’re right because Eddie applies the Cloverleaf hold, and Paul London taps out. Guerrero’s your winner via submission.

POSTMATCH: Rey Mysterio comes on down and beats down Guerrero with a few chair shots and punches outside the ring before the agents show up to calm things down. Eddie retreats and this leads to…

(hello, ads)

Cole & Tazz talk up ECW: ONS. There were more mentions of ECW in this show than on RAW. Am I looking into this too much? I think so.  We’re sent to the back where Rey & Eddie are beating each other up again. Eddie gets a ladder in the chest for his troubles, and manages to get Rey and a few referees stuck in a garage area.

BACKSTAGE: There’s dissention in The Cabinet! Orlando makes the comment that right now he’s the only Champion in The Cabinet, and JBL mentions that he’s The Boss and doesn’t care. More bickering ensues, and The Bashams quit – they’re sick and tired of JBL confusing them, and his shenanigans. Cole & Tazz again hype up the Draft Lottery, and inform us that Carlito’s Cabana is on the way!

(ads)

Back to the show with The Sideshow Bob Show – err, Carlito’s Cabana. Standard stuff here as Carlito runs down Hershey, PA to get the heel heat. He then teases the Big Show vs. Matt Morgan match and says that Matt will finally get rid of Big Show for him tonight. Carlito introduces the guests for tonight’s Cabana – Booker T & Sharmell. Booker’s smack-happy to be on the show but seems displeased that Angle was drafted to RAW. Carlito continues this inane angle by insinuating that Angle could get to Sharmell any time he damn well pleases, and Booker isn’t happy with that. Sharmell holds him back from Carlito. Sharmell knows what Carlito is trying to do and says that since this may be the last time that she & Booker appear on SD together, Sharmell wanted to give Carlito something: A beat down compliments of Booker T. Booker gets a few punches in, but Carlito slips out of the ring while they pepper him with apples. Booker exclaims that “An apple a day keeps Carlito running away! Now can you dig that … SUCKA!” Why do I get the feeling that the Booker/Sharmell/Angle angle isn’t dead? Cole & Tazz hype up the other matches tonight, and we get some more…

(ads)

BACKSTAGE: Carlito is yelling at Matt Morgan wondering why he wasn’t with him in the ring, and Morgan tells him that he was instructed to stay backstage by Carlito to get ready for his match with Big Show, which is next. Carlito didn’t like that, for some reason. Carlito was entertaining here with his ranting and temper tantrum.

MATCH (3): Big Show vs. Matt Morgan

This match was made possible because of Matt Morgan’s F5 of Big Show thru the announce table three weeks back. Show starts it off by giving Morgan a few punches, and three absolutely sick chops to the chest. An elbow drop and clothesline from Big Show followed, with a two count. Carlito comes out and distracts Big Show, prompting a running knee from behind to Big Show. With Big Show down, Morgan goes outside and deconstructs the announce table. Big Show gets up and goes outside to follow, but Morgan grabs Show and tries to set up the F5 – he is unsuccessful and Show reverses to set up a choke slam. Carlito hits Show from behind with a steel chair, and Big Show is your winner via DQ.

POSTMATCH: Big Show choke slams Matt Morgan thru the announce table while Carlito runs off like a little girl. Looks like he’s gotta deal with Mr. Show some more!

Cole & Tazz recap the post-match shenanigans from the first match, and then Orlando Jordan is shown WALKING!! (thanks, CRZ) backstage looking extremely unhappy about the events that have unfolded because of The Bashams quitting.

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BACKSTAGE: Teddy Long is shown backstage waiting for the next Draft Lottery pick

MATCH (4): US Champion Orlando Jordan vs. Hardcore Holly in a Title Match.

Orlando Jordan appears tense and nervous about this match. Heck, I’d be nervous facing one of the stiffest workers in wrestling history. Some good back and forth action to start this title match, and Holly gets some good offense which leads to an Alabama Slam – except that Jordan blocks the move by hanging onto the ropes. Jordan backdrops Holly outside the ropes onto the apron, Holly then goes for a sunset flip but in a sweet move Jordan drops down on Holly and uses the ropes to his advantage and the win. Orlando celebrates while we get more hype for tonight’s main event match. A short match, but certainly not horrible by any stretch of the imagination.

(ads)

Why look, its YOUR FRIEND, Heidenreich – complete with a chocolate mustache. Remember gang, we’re in Hershey tonight so get those minds out of the gutter. As usual, Johnny is looking for a friend and reads us a poem all about chocolate. Said poem is interrupted by the SmackDown Divas and they’re throwing out chocolate kisses to the crowd as they make their way to the ring. They all make double entendres about chocolate to Heidenreich, and we get interrupted again by MNM. No, they don’t melt in your hand. It’s the usual ring entrance for the trio, and Melina predictably runs down chocolate. Michelle asks Melina what she is doing, and Melina runs down Michelle, followed by Heidenreich. Melina says that she’ll never be Heidenreich’s friend, and that Mercury and Nitro are her friends, and – with the line of the night – “not some kindergartner on crack!” Michelle then spears Melina, which leads to a Heidenreich beat down by MNM, and was followed up with a Snapshot. We get MORE hype for the upcoming No DQ match, followed by

(ads)

JUST ANNOUNCED by Teddy Long! Next week on SmackDown!: Mysterio vs. Guerrero. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Wait a second here… we’ve got 29 minutes of show left – which raises my suspicion as to why this is starting so freaking early.

MATCH (5): JBL vs. The Undertaker in a No Disqualification match

Hold on to your tights (“No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform.” “Tights!”)!  Chris Benoit is out and fights with OJ leading to the backstage. JBL is screaming at Orlando not to leave him, and that leads to some more

(ads – a.k.a filler. Looks like my suspicion was right)

We’re back, and JBL is pacing in the ring and still screaming for Orlando. I think he’s in love with the guy. JBL might beat me up for saying that, but I don’t care. Bring the pain, Hawk! *DONG* Cue the Undertaker’s sweet-ass entrance. And yes, I just like saying *DONG*. Hello, I’m 16 years old and my name is Beavis. Hey, baby. Anyways. Undertaker starts things off by getting in about 5 minutes of offense, including his top rope walk. The action then goes to the outside, where JBL reverses Undertaker into the stairs and then nuts him via the security railing. I seriously hope he’s wearing a cup, because that looks mighty painful. While Undertaker takes inventory of the kids we go to some

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We’re informed that JBL took control during the break, and continues to do so in the match. Undertaker ducks under a clothesline and gives JBL a leg drop off of the apron, and JBL follows up with a rope shot to Undertaker’s throat. Undertaker got a near fall compliments of the Snake Eyes, and choke slams JBL for another near fall. Undertaker sets up the Tombstone but JBL gets out of it with a low blow, followed up with a clothesline and another near fall. Undertaker got the Last Ride on JBL, but he kicked out again. Some really good action here. Undertaker then does his throat slash, gets JBL up over his shoulder for another Tombstone, and then SOME GUY pushes JBL off of Undertaker and that same SOME GUY RKO’s Undertaker. Yes, it’s Randy Orton! JBL gets the pin on Undertaker for the win. This was a pretty good main event match, clocking in at just about 20 minutes.

POSTMATCH:

JBL meanders to the back while Undertaker is trying to get up in the ring. Randy Orton is then shown on a platform next to the entrance area, and says this without flubbing his lines: “UNDERTAKER! … UNDERTAKER! You’ve just been RKO’ed! You better get used to it, because the Legend Killer is officially on SmackDown!” Randy said this with some emotion, but it just seemed to fall flat. Randy then hits The Pose to his music to close out the show.

THOUGHTS AND OTHER STUFF:

Wow, five quality matches tonight (albeit some short, but that’s a minor complaint) with some good storyline advancement and new angles introduced. Why couldn’t RAW have been like this in the middle of their show? Where will the Heidenreich/MNM angle go? Just how sweet will the Mysterio/Guerrero match be? And finally, what will Undertaker do with Randy Orton now on the show? We’ll find out soon enough. I have no MAJOR complaints about the show tonight (aside from Cole’s suggestion about London possibly beating Guerrero being a huge upset), I was entertained – and that’s all I can ask for.

Feedback as usual is appreciated. Since I’m not the world’s fastest typist I toned down just how much I recapped in the matches because the last time I did this it felt like I was writing a novel. I hope at least you got a good feel for the show from the recap. Since this is just my second time doing this, let me know if I’ve succeeded in that regard. Thanks for reading!