After “Commercials,” Christian is out for an edition of The Peep Show and he’s getting quite a good face pop. Anyway, without any further ado, here to talk about his match at Summerslam, it’s Batista! Christian swerves Batista around a bit and looks to have a match with Batista tonight, AGAIN! Batista riffs on the “Are you talking to me?” bit and says that nobody wants to see Christian get his ass kicked again. The Audience begs to differ, and Batista then changes his mind and decides that tonight, Christian gets his ass handed to him, Again!

Heidenreich and Animal are WALKING!

After “Son of Commercials,” The New Road Warriors are out to squash These Two Guys. Match last longer than 30 seconds, tho, mainly so that we can get reaction shots from MNM, who apparently want the belts back and are scouting their opponents moves on a monitor back stage. Match ends as you’d expect, with the guy in blue tights getting pummeled out of the ring and the guy in black tight eating a doomsday device. Champs celebrate, and we are off to commercials again.

After “Bride of Commercials,” We get a recap of the drama between Rey and Eddie, and then we are sent elsewhere where Randy Orton gets to show off his massive toolboxery and mangle his way through an interview where Theodore Long decides not to tell him who his opponent is.

After “The Commercials Ride Again,” Randy Orton is out to take on a “Legendary Undertaker Opponent!” Who is it? Kane? Fake Undertaker? Hogan making a one shot over to Smackdown? Nope, it’s Kamala (W/ Kim Chee)! Kamala slaps his belly to start, dominates with a few chops, then Orton takes over and in a flurry of arm and leg flailing, hits the RKO on Kim Chee. Kamala comes back, Randy gains the advantage, and then suddenly the arena turns blue, the Smackatron displays RKO, and then does the funky letter thing and turns into RIP.

Backstage, Eddie meets the child services hottie, and she says that she’s here to make sure that Dominic’s best interests are served. Eddie is having a moment of doubt that things will go his way, so he pours on the schmaltz and says that Dominic is coming home with him tonight.

This edition of  “Commercials and the women who love them” is interrupted by Eddie Guererro (W/ Child Services Hottie) out to give Rey Mysterio (W/ Dominic and wife Angie) Chapter 3 in the story. You know, the way this story could end, plausibly and believably right now, if for the Child Services Hottie to grab the mic and say, “Eddie, you gave Dominic away when he was born, he has been raised well, he’s a better actor and more in tune with reality than Randy Orton, Rey obviously loves him, Oh, and as icing on the cake, you forced him to sit at ringside and beat up Rey in front of him at GAB. Sorry Eddie, Dominic stays where he is!” Dominic then celebrates, kicks Eddie in the ding-ding, and Rey and Eddie go back to feuding because they hate each other. Well, Eddie starts out by doing his “Nobody beats Eddie” riff, and then snaps a bit at the Child Services Hottie. Rey comes back with the fact that if Eddie continues on like this, then nobody wins. He’s proud of how Eddie has beaten every obstacle in his life, but he hasn’t beaten Rey Mysterio. Rey says that there are two things that Eddie will never take from him: Dominic’s love for Rey, and a pinfall victory over Rey. Rey drops the hammer, and tells him that if he takes Dominic away, then he never gets to wrestle Rey again. Eddie double takes, and Rey points out that Eddie’s eventual Hall of Fame plaque will read, “Never beat Rey Mysterio.” They bounce back and forth, Rey calls Eddie a Chickenshit, Eddie retorts that he isn’t, so Rey tells him to prove it with one last match at Summerslam. Eddie says ok, and The Child Services Miss Buttinsky calls both of them crazy, and says that until they can sort their differences out, Dominic is going into custody. Rey has a tearful farewell to Dom, Eddie tells him to say goodbye to Aunt Angie and Uncle Rey, and it’s time for more commercials.

After another exciting episode of “The Commercial Files,” The Mexicools (Super Crazy and Psychosis with Juvi at ringside) are out to take on Scotty Too Hotty and William Regal. Earlier tonight, they talked strategy, which involved Scotty telling Regal that he should know how to do The Worm. Scotty starts with Super Crazy, gets a few hiptosses, and then gets tossed out and falls victim to the double team. Scotty is your face in peril for a bit. Scotty tries to tag out a couple times, but Regal first avoids the tag, and then just walks away entirely. Scotty almost gets the worm but is tripped up by Juvi and he eats a Psychosis leg drop and Mexicools win. Regal is now heel.

Backstage, Rey and Angie are crying and vowing (in Spanish) to get Dominic back.

After “The Return of the Commercials,” Steve Romero is interviewing Jillian and she gets on his case for staring at her blemish, grabs the mic away, and challenges Booker and Sharmell to a mixed tag match between Mercury and Milena. I think the ‘blemish’ changes from week to week.

John Cena, “Right Now” video. Wow, this really outs his suburban white boy status, not to mention the fact I’ve heard the EXACT SAME SONG from just about every rapper of note over the past 15 years. Not impressed, moving on.

Ooo, “The Commercials day out” is one of my favorites!

You know, Chris Benoit has got a great gimmick: He enters the arena, the crowd loves him. Kind of the anti Kurt Angle. Oh, he’s wrestling Simon Dean, who changes “Rabid Wolverine” around to “Flabby Wolverine.” Man, they are really reaching. Short and sweet: Benoit beats the stupid out of Simon, but I know the WWE brain trust, they have plenty of stupid where that came from. Simon Dean taps to the Crossface after the hat trick Germans, Benoit wins.

 After an exciting showing of “The Last Ride of the Commercial Clan,” Christian (No entrance) is out to take on Batista in a non-title matchup. Nice highspots from the match: Batista bashing Christians head into all three turnbuckles in the corner to the count of 10, Christian getting back body dropped out of the ring, Batista eats ringpost on a missed charge, Christian with a missile dropkick to get 2, Christian trying to go to the top rope again but Batista hitting a back body drop off the top turnbuckle, and Batista takes over with bodyslams and the spine buster. John “Bradshaw” Layfield attacks at this point. Batista gets the better of him and throws him out of the ring and over the announce table. J”B”L comes backup with a steel chair, and pastes Batista a few times. In the ring, Batista gets pummeled and after a small “Batista!” chant, J”B”L stands over Batista’s prone body to ZERO reaction. I mean, you could almost literally hear the people saying, “Yeah, it’s just J”B”L, I can go piss now.” Fade out, WWE Logo, and we’re outta here.

Decent show this week, can’t wait for Thursday.

See ya… Later this week!