One little baseball item before we get started with the rasslin: the Yankees signed Scott Erickson as "an insurance policy," according to GM Brian Cashman. Here's what we know about Scott Erickson:

5.19, 5.44, 4.81, 5.02, 3.70, 4.01, 4.81, 7.87, 5.55, 6.67, and 6.02. How many of those are good? None. 3.70 is decent, and 4.01 is respectable. So in his past eleven seasons, he has been decent once, respectable once, and lousy nine times. On top of that, he hasn't exactly been the picture of perfect health. He hasn't started 30 games in a season since 1999, and he has started 58 games TOTAL since then. He missed all of 2001 (Tommy John surgery) and 2003 (torn labrum), and only pitched in six games in 2004 (hamstring).

So let's sum this up: he's old (38), he has a dangerous history of injuries, and he's not very good even when he's healthy. That's one heck of an insurance policy, Mr. Cashman.

Now, for the show!

Smackdown Theme/Pyro/Etc.

Tonight: We're taped from Norfolk, VA, and we will see Kurt Angle and Undertaker team up against Mercury, Nitro, and Mark Henry.

Rey Mysterio vs. Sylvan

We start right off with Rey's music, and we see a flashback to last week, when Rey told Orton: this is your brain; this is your brain on ringpost; any questions?

Then Sylvan's music hits, and for some reason, he has a mic. He gives a very generic promo about how Rey is jealous of his looks and stuff. In only wasn't a complete waste because he DID include this classic like: "Look at the way I walk. Hear at the way I talk."

So Rey interrupts his ramble with a baseball slide, followed by a plancha. Eventually, the match gets officially underway when Rey rolls Sylvan into the ring and hits a seated senton. As the crowd chants for the Ghost of Eddie, Rey hits a head-scissors.

Rey eventually missed a bronco buster, and Sylvan takes control and turns it into a bearhug. Rey gives a couple headbutts and a thumb to the eye, which allows him to escape, but he runs right into a spinebuster. Sylvan then hits another rest hold.

Rey eventually uses the Eddie Shimmy to get out of the hold, hits a drop-toehold, follows it up with a 619 and the dropping of the dime, and we have a 1-2-3.

Your winner: Rey Mysterio (about 5 minutes)

After the match: Randy Orton is at the top of the ramp, and he has a mic. He says, "For all the bad things I have said about Eddie, he DID main-event Wrestlemania. And Rey, you're no Eddie. You will never main-event Wrestlemania, because you will never beat me." Michael Cole informs us that Chavo Guerrero and Eddie's wife Vicki will both be at No Way Out. Hmmm.

[I've been thinking a little bit about how I feel about Eddie's post-mortem involvement in this feud. I knew I didn't like it much, but I wasn't sure why. I don't claim to be a heartless pRick like some webmasters I know, so I have no doubt that part of the discomfort comes from the fact that Eddie was my wife's favorite wrestler and one of my all-time favorites, and his death is still pretty fresh in our hearts to see it exploited like this. (Just the other day, I was putting the Eddie Raw on a tape for my little sister, and I had to tape it with the TV off, because I couldn't sit through it again.)

I'm sure another part of the reason I don't care much for it is because Rey is involved. Rey is also one of my favorites of all time, and I hate to see him saddled with this stupid feud when the attention should be on the fact that he has a title shot at Wrestlemania. I know that Smackdown has a PPV this weekend that they need to have matches for, but it seems like there could be something better. (Of course, if the plan is for Orton to win this weekend, then all this talk about Rey's title shot is a bunch of crap, anyway.)

But the main reason I hate this storyline is from a pure wrestling perspective: it makes no sense. Let's see... Last year, Eddie and Rey had a huge, hate-filled feud. They were bitter enemies. Then Eddie died, and we all knew that Rey's pain was genuine, because we knew that in real life, the two were the best of friends. We played along with the hateful storyline, but we knew the loving truth. Now, WWE wants us to inject the love into the storyline. If we believe that Rey loved Eddie, it is only because we recognize that wrestling is fake. And by knowing that wrestling is fake, we know that Eddie didn't ACTUALLY help Rey win the Royal Rumble, because spirits of former wrestlers have no power over the booking sheets. WWE wants to have it both ways, and I have a hard time giving it to them.]

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Backstage: Kurt Angle approaches Rey and tells him to screw the nay-sayers like Orton. Angle says it will be an honor to face Rey at Wrestlemania, and Mark Henry interrupts. Henry tells Angle he shouldn't be thinking about Mania, he should be thinking about surviving tonight.

In the ring: Orlando Jordan has a mic, and he starts whining about how he, not Benoit, should be facing Booker T for the U.S. Title at No Way Out. OJ informs us that he can beat anyone in the locker room, and who better to take that challenge than…

The Boogeyman? Oh goodie.

Boogey vs. OJ

Between OJ's hair and Boogey's worm-eating, my wife is ready to throw up. This match was over as soon as it started, as Boogey hit a clothesline, followed it up with a pump-handle slam, and got the 1-2-3.

Your winner: The Boogeyman (less than one minute)

After the match: Boogey eats more worms.

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Backstage: All the face cruiserweights glare at Gregory Helms as he walks by, and he tells them all to "watch and learn."

Gregory Helms vs. Scotty 2 Hotty (Cruiserweight Title Match)

Cole and Tazz tell us that Kid Kash was supposed to be in this match, but he had some sort of family emergency, so Scotty took his place. Helms starts strong, but Scotty counters and hits two high hip tosses and a side suplex. Helms punches Scotty in the face and rams his shoulder into the ringpost. A knee to the head gets a two count, and Helms follows with a suplex, two leg drops, and a camel clutch. We have some blah blah, and eventually Scotty gets control and is about to do the bulldog to set up the worm, but Helms knocks him down and hits the Shining Wizard. 1-2-3.

Your winner: Gregory Helms (about 5 minutes)

After the match:Helms grabs a mic and tells all the other cruisers he can beat them all whenever he wants. He then proceeds to beat on Scotty, and the other six face cruisers (SuperCrazy, Psicosis, Nunzio, Funaki, London, and Kendrick) come down to make the save. All six hit moves on Helms, and Scotty finishes with The Worm. No matter how irrelevant and pointless Scotty gets, the worm continues to get a huge crowd pop. (I did think it was convenient, though, that Kid Kash, the only other heal cruiser besides Helms, happened to be absent on this night of Helms vs. The World.)

[Like last week, this match wasn't up to par with what we expect from the cruisers. The more I see Helms in this role, the more I think he is ill-suited for this division, regardless of his size. When he's wrestling the big boys, he is the little guy, the underdog. When he wrestles the cruisers, he is just some guy who happens to be a little bigger and a little slower than the rest. At least this match served a purpose, though, as you will see after the next commercial break, which comes after this...]

Video Package: The Undertaker

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Backstage: Helms is getting iced, and Teddy Long walks in and makes a match for No Way Out between Helms and all the other cruisers who just beat him up. That should be fun, because any ring that has London, Kendrick, SuperCrazy, and Psicosis in it is a happy place.

Elsewhere backstage: Kristal is with Paul Burchill, who gets out one "Hello" before Mr. Kennedy interrupts. Kenndy informs Burchill that he is a joke, that everyone will laugh at him. Burchill holds a sword to Kennedy's neck, and Mr. sings a different tune, ending with, "You'll totally be over, dude." As Kennedy escapes, we head to ringside...

...where Booker T and Sharmell are on their way to the announce table to do a little guest commentating. But not before these...

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Finaly and JBL vs. Chris Benoit and Bobby Lashley

Finlay and Benoit start, and Finlay takes control early, but Benoit hits a dropkick to even the score. Sharmell refers to Cole "screaming like a girl," and Cole says, "No, that's the guy on Raw." I assume he is referring to Joey Styles? I dunno.

Finlay catches Benoit between the ring and the skirt around the apron, and with the ref distracted, JBL stomps Benoit's choppin' hand on the steel steps a few times. For the next several minutes, JBL and Finlay tag back and forth, both working on the now-injured hand of Benoit.

Eventually, Benoit hits a suplex on JBL and gets a tag to Lashley. Lashley hits a belly-to-belly and a punch to the face, but JBL counters with a thumb to the eye and a tag to Finlay. Lashley hits a little offense, but he ends up outside the ring ducking a Finlay clothesline, only to eat a JBL boot. As Finlay jumps with both feet on Lashley's gut, we head to...

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JBL is still in control of Lashley, and he locks in a sleeper. As we all take a break, I notice that Booker seems to have gone to the Jesse Jackson School of Elocution. I can seriously only understand about half the words he is saying, and occasionally entire sentences come out as nothing but jumbles. Lashley eventually powers out of the sleeper, but some dastardly back-kicking by Finlay gets the advantage back for JBL. Finlay tags in, and Lashley fires up after a couple uppercuts, knocks Finlay down, and tags Benoit.

Benoit has a back-bodydrop for each of the opponents, and he follows that up with his-and-his suplexes. Hat Trick o' Germans for JBL, release German for Finlay. Benoit locks the crossface on JBL, but Finlay breaks it up. Finlay and Benoit roll out of the ring, and Benoit rams Finlay into the steps. After hanging JBL on the ropes, Benoit looks to be in good position, but Booker jumps up, grabs a chair, and nails Benoit in the back with it. Benoit stumbles into the ring, where he eats a Clothesline from Hell, and JBL covers for the 1-2-3.

Your winners: JBL and Finlay (about 15 minutes)

After the match: Booker and Sharmell chalk Booker's sudden recovery up to a miracle.

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When we get back, Simon Dean is in the ring with Gymini. Believe it or not, Simon thinks the people of Norfolk are fat, and that after they are done with their nachos, they will have No Way Out of their chairs. Matt Hardy's music breaks up the routine.

Matt Hardy vs. Simon Dean

Very early in the match, referee Charles Robinson catches one of Gymini harassing Hardy, so he ejects them from ringside. Dean takes control, but Hardy soon counters into a Side Effect, followed by a swinging neck-breaker, followed by a second-rope elbow, followed by a Twist of Fate, followed by a 1-2-3.

Your winner: Matt Hardy (about 3 minutes)

Video Package: Kurt Angle

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Raw Rebound: I don't recap recaps, but I did watch this one, since I missed Raw last night. It seems that USA got cute with their naming, and they called this Thursday Night Raw or something, so my season pass on my DVR missed it, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. It sounds like I didn't miss much, though.

Backstage: Matt Hardy runs into Melina and tells her he has decided to take her up on her offer. Melina thinks she is in for a good back-scratch, but Matt says, "No, not that offer. I am talking about MNM's open challenge. I am going to get a partner, and we are going to take your titles at No Way Out."

No Way Out rundown

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Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, and Mark Henry vs. the Undertaker and Kurt Angle

We got the heel entrances before the ad break, and the faces after. When we get started, Angle and Taker have a little disagreement about who will start, but Taker wins, and he takes on Mercury. Classic mismatch, and Taker eventually throws Mercury into the corner, where he tags Henry in. Henry takes control and drives Taker to the opposite corner, where Angle gets a blind tag, and Taker seems pissed about it. Angle gets some brief offense, but Henry hits a headbutt and tags in Nitro. Nitro takes a release German, but Mercury interferes before Angle can lock in the Ankle Lock.

All five guys get involved, with Taker knocking Henry off the apron, then Taker and Angle having a crap-kicking contest, with Mercury and Nitro getting the short end of this pissing contest. Both men throw their punching bags out of the ring, and as they stare each other down, Henry attacks from behind and knocks them both out of the ring.

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When we get back, MNH is still in control, with Henry (the legal man) distracting the ref while M&N choke Angle with the tag rope and do other heelish things. MNH hits quick tags, never letting Angle get close enough to tag Taker. Eventually, out of nowhere, Angle locks in the Ankle Lock on Henry, who quickly powers out of it. Cole points out that Taker has never submitted in his career, so the Ankle Lock will be an interesting element in Sunday's match.

Angle hits a side suplex on Mercury to break up a rest-hold, and he hits the hot tag to Taker. The Dead Man cleans house, and he is moving VERY well. He is quicker and more light on his feet than I have seen him in a long time, and it makes me excited to see what he and Angle can do together on Sunday. Taker is about to chokeslam Mercury and Nitro at the same time, but Henry breaks it up. Mercury tags Henry in, and Henry goes to work distracting the ref while Mercury, Nitro, and Daivari attack Taker. A series of quick tags as all three guys take turns on Taker, but he hits a flying DDT out of nowhere on Henry. After a Dead Man Situp, Taker is lining up for a chokeslam on Henry, but Angle slaps the raised chokeslammin' hand and tags himself in. Angle Slam for Nitro, who is apparently the legal man, and as Taker dispatches Henry, Nitro taps out.

Your winners: The Undertaker and Kurt Angle (about 15 minutes)

After the match: As Angle gloats that he got the victory, Taker decides to put on a show. First he chokeslams Henry, and Angle looks slightly impressed. Taker then motions for a tombstone, and Angle gives him a "You're crazy" look. Taker them grabs Henry, lifts him effortlessly, and hits the tombstone. Angle briefly looks like he is wondering what he is in for, but then he engages in a staredown, and we are out.

[Analysis: Let's face it, any show that ends with Mark Henry being utterly decimated is a wonderful show. The first two hours could have been nothing but Sharmell reading from a dictionary over the loudspeaker, and this last minute would have sent me home happy. If I thought this was the final, ignominious end to Mark Henry, I would be even more happy, but you take what you can get.

What about the rest of the show? Well, it was definitely packed. We had six matches, but only two were significantly north of five minutes. What this match felt like was: "Oh crap, we have a PPV in two days, and we hardly have anything other than the top of the card set up!" So to complement the WWE Title match, the U.S. Title match, and the Rey/Orton match, we got the tag title match between MNM and Matt Hardy/An Animal of His Choice, and the big Cruiserweight Title match between all the cruisers. The one major story that didn't either get created or stepped up is the Lashley/JBL match, and even they faced off in a 15-minute match.

So, bottom line: not a show to write home about. Two weeks from now, the only image that will still be in my head from tonight's show is Undertaker tombstoning Mark Henry. But their goal going in was to set up a PPV for this weekend, and with that goal in mind, they did a pretty darn good job. (Would it have been better if they had built it up over time instead of cramming it all into the last episode before the PPV? Probably, but that's beside the point for this recap.) I never got bored -- in fact, the two hours seemed to fly by much quicker than usual -- and I think they built a six-match PPV lineup that is as compelling as they could hope for with their current active roster. Toss in the fact that they may have been sowing the seeds of a Burchill/Kennedy feud down the line, and it was an overall decent effort.]