Sorry for the delay in getting this out there, folks. I thought I had completed a Friday column and was just getting ready to update when BAM news about Kurt Angle hit.
 

I figured if I took my time, I could get a pretty full report posted a little later in the evening on Friday (not just repeating what got out on WWE.com), but then things kinda went to hell for me, and I never got the chance to do the proper check-ups and stuff till the weekend was almost over.

And yes, I know the 

Just do me a favor and bear with me, and we should come out of this better, stronger, faster. We have the technology. Or however the opening mantra of the "Six Million Dollar Man" went.

Here's today's news, and if you spot any glaring inconsistencies, just remember that parts of this column were written on Friday, and additional parts stuffed into spots on Sunday night. 

• Kurt Angle has been released from his WWE contract. Though the story as told by WWE.com is that the parting of the ways is mutual, that's only true if you count the fact that Angle declined to agree to a rather stringent set of terms to retain his employment (possibly related to the means Angle used to medicate himself into feeling like he was well enough to compete at SummerSlam despite not one, not two, but THREE injuries that would sideline a normal man), and once that happened, WWE outright had to cut him loose. In this scenario, a 30- or 90-day no-compete clause may be invalidated, I dunno....
   
  But I can also promise you that at least part of the reason why WWE has handled this so publicly (also openly addressing Angle's issues with painkillers in the announcement) is to cast doubt on any company that would employ Angle in his current condition. Which is not to say Kurt would be shopping himself around, anyway, but more on that later...
   
  Angle's status hasn't exactly been THAT well-guarded a secret going back to last year. But damage control still did a decent job keeping the details of Angle's recent 30 day vacation cloudy. This was at least in part because the nature of Angle's transgressions is equally cloudy. If one has a prescription for all the pills one is taking, that might keep one from violating the Wellness Policy. But if one has prescriptions for that much stuff, one is also Not Well. It becomes a slippery slope where one is concerned about Angle's body breaking down just due to in-ring wear-and-tear, but then you start to take an inventory of what he's doing to mask that wear-and-tear, and...
   
  Well, you get the idea.
   
  On top of all this, Angle's on-again/off-again separation from his wife is on-again at last report, this after they had conceived another child several months ago, about two off-agains back. So the mental health is probably not at 100%, either, though WWE stepping up and saying "enough" (with absolutely zero chance of Angle being invited to step into any ring for lord knows how long) may be enough to help him prioritize.
   
  Here's what is known about the straw that broke the camel's back: two weeks ago, during a house show match against Rob Van Dam, Angle suffered some combination of groin pull/abdominal tear that essentially is as badly as one can shred one's torso. Then, continuing the match, he tore his hamstring. Any one of the three injuries should have been enough to drop a man, but Angle didn't just continue the match, he worked either one or two of the next night's house shows (albeit in shorter prelim matches).
   
  In doing this, Angle almost had WWE officials convinced he could be cleared to compete either at ECW TV tapings or at SummerSlam. It was only after a full diagnosis was made of Angle's three-headed injury that WWE began to contemplate just how in the blue hell Angle was able to be showing up, asking to work, in the condition he was in.
   
  The internal discussions held last week were nearly unanimous: that Kurt can't remain in this environment without it becoming a major danger to his own well-being, and the well-being of those in the ring with him. Those who feel it's callous of WWE to not just indefinitely suspend Kurt so he can continue to receive his guaranteed pay while he's seeking both medical and addiction help should be aware that WWE feels like it's already done everything they can to help Kurt while keeping him on the teat. And there certainly is precedent for WWF/E -- over the years -- cutting a talent loose in hopes that he will be "scared straight."
   
  William Regal, Eddie Guerrero, and even Jeff Hardy were given multiple strikes by the company, but then released at what might have seemed their hour of greatest need. Well, Regal and Eddie were both back with WWE better than ever within 18 months of scraping rock bottom, and even Hardy has cleaned up his act. There is also another precedent here, where just because Angle is officially off the WWE Teat, it doesn't mean he won't receive tacit financial support from the very highest levels, but just in the form of personal assistance, not corporate assistance. I think X-Pac and Scott Hall alone have cost Vince McMahon and Triple H thousands in rehab bills that were paid out of personal courtesy, but kept off the books.
   
  The hope, as presented at WWE.com, is that a healthy and safe Kurt Angle returns to the company at some later date. Obviously, there can be no guarantee of that happening, for any number of reasons. The one nobody wants to contemplate is that Kurt just can't get his ducks in a row the same way guys like Regal and Eddie did. The one that would be sad but completely understandable is that Kurt gets absolutely as healthy as he can, and realizes that it's still not a good idea for him to subject his bodies to the rigors of the ring. And of course, you can't totally eliminate the possibility that Kurt would look for (and find) work elsewhere.
   
  More than a few TNA fans have already written in saying that TNA is PERFECT for Kurt, what with the only working 2 or 3 days per month (instead of per week). But for one: today's Kurt Angle (the Kurt Angle of August 28, 2006) wouldn't be safe or healthy even working 2 or 3 days per month. It'll be months before that discussion should even be on the table. And for another: Kurt's one of those guys who you can just sort of tell wouldn't see anything for him in TNA (unless it came down to the matter of wanting the paycheck). Out of the handful of very top stars who have had the opportunity to work for TNA, how many of them actually showed up and poured themselves into it? Hogan flaked out before setting foot one in the building; guys like Goldberg, Jericho, and Rock have never had substantive conversations with the company; Nash and Savage showed up to work, but both have found it convenient to exit on their own terms. There are reasons why basically no top 90s/early-2000s star outside of Sting has made TNA a priority, and it's because when you're a Kurt Angle or a Chris Jericho or whoever, you don't have anything left to prove that you'd be able to prove in TNA.
   
  Again: all that's out the window if it comes down -- at some point in the future -- to the matter of the paycheck. But if that's important to Kurt and he wants to do something impressive, where he'd prove something to himself, to fans, AND make an insane payday, then his future as a part-time/big-match attraction might be in Japan or in MMA, where he might be able to command as much money for a single match as he'd make in 2 full years on the road with WWE. The Catch-22 there, of course, is that if we're unsure if Angle can get healthy enough to have Fake Wrestling Matches, what are the odds that he'll get healthy enough where he'd be able to compete in Real Fights against world class competition?
   
  To reiterate something I've basically been saying since last fall: selfishly, I never like it when somebody as all-around talented as Kurt Angle gets taken away from my TV screen. But this is one where it sounds like we have to stop being fans, and just start being reasonable people.... because this is what's best for Kurt.
   
  If Angle's back, one would assume it wouldn't be till well into the new year, and you would also (at this point) have to assume it wouldn't be for the ECW brand. [With Angle's already-foul mood, he rubbed people the wrong way the past several weeks with an attitude that he was an A-level star on the C-brand show, and wanted to be pushed accordingly as the centerpiece of the promotion.] Given that Angle in a non-wrestling role during the Summer of 2004 didn't work out so well, perhaps what Kurt would need is The Foley Schedule. Protects his body, but (and if you don't believe this is important to Kurt Angle, you've missed a memo or two) it allows him to stay affiliated with WWE, who control his legacy. That was a factor in Foley's decision to re-up with WWE when he could have taken an offer from TNA last fall; and for further evidence of how far this can drive a man, look at how even Bret Hart mended fences with WWE so that he could once again have a say in how his legacy was presented in a DVD set.
   
  And if Angle's not back? Well, it'd be a stretch to say he went out at the very top of his game (or to expect him to have had a banner year when his most frequent opponent was the chinlocking wunderkind Randall Orton)... then again, Angle redefined "top of the game" during his rookie year in the WWF: IC Champ, Euro Champ, King of the Ring, and WWF Champ, all within 10 months. A-freaking-mazing, not to mention damned hard to top. But still, the fact that Angle will be at or near Match of the Year voting (for a February match against Undertaker), as well as a still strong contender for his technical, all-around in-ring, and promo skills means that he's still going out at what would be ABOVE the tops of the games of many of his co-workers. And not to harp on a Bret Hart comparison, but my only real hope -- if this does end up being the end of the line for Angle's in-ring career -- is that there's a clean-cut decision made and a sense of closure, unlike the way Bret sort of faded away after one ill-timed kick from Goldberg and its consequences.
   
  Here's to the best for Kurt Angle, including a full and speedy recovery for all what ails ya even if that doesn't mean seeing the man in the ring again soon.
   
  
• Going back in time, now.... ratings and TV mini-caps....
   
  RAW did a 4.1 rating, which is the same as the previous week, and tinching towards the strong averages the show posted this spring and very early summer. Whether that'll hold up against new fall TV shows or not? Remains to be seen, although Monday Night Football's importance/relevance will be slashed this season with a move to ESPN (from network TV) and the move of the NFL's marquee games from Monday night's to Sunday nights (on NBC), which might be of some mild benefit to WWE.
   
  For my part, I liked last week's show, and if they'd just shaved off the repetitive and clunky closing angle with the limo, I might be even more ebullient. Very "Crash TV" (in the literal sense), and there are times when that can be a very effective formula. I think you just pepper in a bit more wrestling and handle time management better (so that the fricking HIGHLANDERS aren't, for the second time in a month, putting us to sleep by being given the longest match of the night), and that'd be just about the perfect way to do Sustainable Episodic TV.
   
  You can get the full recap, courtesy of moi, right here.
   
  
• Then there was ECW, which also matched its rating from last week with a 2.3, and with a show that I also liked for the most part.
   
  I thought they came out strong with the aborted bikini contest straight into the six-person intergender match. Note #1: there wasn't anything intergender about it after the pre-match brawl. But I still would like to personally thank the director/producer who made the decision to have Torrie Wilson stand in the one corner so her backside would be constantly exposed to the hard camera. Mheh heh heh heh: hard. Meantime, you couldn't even get Kelly to just stand up on the opposite side to maintain the illusion that the girls might get tagged in? And Note #2: now that Dreamer and Sandman have smote Test and Knox, is there really any point to Knox being around? The guy does one thing well: and now that Dreamer looks like he killed him with that DDT bump, it's all downhill from here for the dude. [Tick Tock Tick Tock: if you're wondering why they dragged Torrie Wilson out for the bikini contest instead of using Francine, well, that makes one of you. The rest of us have pretty well figured it out. And speaking on behalf of only myself, I only wonder why it's taken this long.]
   
  Things got a bit tepid during the middle of the show and the Enhancement Matches. I do think Thorne continues to look good (and continue to wonder why the guy ever got fired for some fucking Writer Monkey's mistake in creating "Mordecai"), and vote that him changing his finisher over to the hangman's stunner is a definitely good idea.... and CM Punk really does need a Wanker Audience the weeks he wrestles; otherwise, to a more standard fan, I'm not entirely sure he comes off that impressive (despite this being the week Tazz opted to opine that Punk has some nebulous "It Factor," which I might be inclined to debate). [Pointless trivia tangent: do you know why Punk wrestled "Christopher W. Anderson" instead of "CW Anderson"? Because Vince McMahon thinks that "CM" and "CW" are too close and would confuse the fans. Oy. If Vince thinks the fans are that stupid, maybe it's no wonder the product is sometimes borderline-retarded?]... RVD gets a squash, too, but his has a point, as Bob Holly returns to TV to attack him afterwards (at the behest of Paul Heyman). Dear Bob: I am very, very, very happy that you are well again. Now I'd like to go back to not caring about you one way or the other. Please facilitate this move by not appearing on my TV any more than absolutely necessary. Thank you. Love, Rick.
   
  Then the main event kicked things up again. Even without Extreme Rules, Sabu and Big Show actually got more time than they did at the PPV, and had a pretty solid little contest. Perhaps I'm just being kind, though, because I was genuinely surprised (in a pleasant way) with the finish. Once Sabu got DQ'ed for going Extreme, I thought we'd get the standard Big Show comeback, possibly assisted by Heyman's SWAT Team or others. Instead: they just went balls-out and had Sabu do a TLC-laden 3 minute heat sequence, with Show as little more than a prop. I know WWE's taking heat for the way they're treating a lot of the "ECW Originals," but Sabu continues to be an exception and a big time success story. Good for him.
   
  My guess is that now, Show will get the message (which Heyman had been trying to hammer into him throughout the show) that Sabu is crazy and *is* capable of hurting Big Show. And he'll suddenly be less brazen about handing out title shots, which SHOULD lead to the drawn-out chase scenario that I was talking about two weeks ago before they just shoved Sabu into the PPV title match (probably at least in part because of Angle's status). And if nothing else, a surprising finish like that where a different guy than you'd expect is standing tall at the end of the show is another hallmark of good sustainable episodic TV. You gotta admit: Big Show destroying the flavor of the week was getting to be a pretty tired climax, wasn't it?
   
  You can get full details on last week's ECW right here, courtesy of Jeff Snider.
   
  
• No rating, as of this writing, for last night's Impact, but I'll go ahead and give TNA a passing score for the show... even if I remain unsold, at times, on their overall major storylines having a ton of sizzle, this little two week show seems to have found the company ALSO getting into the groove of "sustainable episodic TV."
   
  Is Spike Dudley vs. Abyss in a Thumbtacks match the sort of thing that would contribute mightily to my desire to plop down money for a PPV? Nah. But when you take the time to build it up as a throw-away match on a Thursday night show, I likey.
   
  I also liked the Christian/Rhino bit, which played off their real life past together and which had Christian doing all the talking (both things added positively to the drama). If I'm reading things right, I think what you might be seeing is TNA positioning Christian in a way that he'll be ready to challenge NWA Champ Samoa Joe in the next 4-6 months. With only Jeff Jarrett as a viable heel for the company, I'm in no way averse to trying to get the fans to turn on Christian. And since Rhino has already had problems with Joe, you can sort of look at this as the start of Christian path of monster-slaying. If he beats Rhino and then Monty Brown's farewell job is to XTian, you'll know I'm onto something.
   
  And TNA definitely out-ECW'ed ECW with the main event blood bath (LAX beat Styles/Daniels for the tag titles). Good stuff, and as much as it might be easy to make fun of Daniels coming to the street fight in a shirt-and-tie, loafers, and his freshly-pressed Battle Slacks, he still didn't look as gay as AJ Styles (what with his cute little belly-shirt and all). A title change always makes for a big finish, too.
   
  Not a bad hour, at all, and Jason Longshore has the full report for you right here.
   
  
• I believe Nielsen actually had system-wide problems collecting data, as there is also no ratings information for Friday or Saturday, either. I'm sure those numbers will be forthcoming, and till then, I'll just say that Friday night brought us what I can unequivocally state was "yet another edition of SmackDown!"....
   
  Bookended (pun not intended, but unavoidable) by relative goodness from the Usual Suspects of Booker T, Regal, Finlay, Lashley, and Batista, but with a lot of filler in the middle, it was a hard show to really get into, but not one that necessarily stank on toast, either.
   
  Probably the most fun I had was with a bit of a change up from the usual suspects, as Ken Kennedy and Matt Hardy had a hell of a nice little match. Actually, little? The bastard was 12-15 minutes, I think. And poor Matt: the announcers spending the entire time talking about his fruitcake brother's return, instead of the valiant (but futile) effort he and his Superfluous Third Nipple put up in THEIR return.
   
  Tatanka versus one new guy? Bleh, FF. Paul London versus different new guy? Bleh, check out Michelle McCool for my daily dose of hot, then FF. Vickie Guerrero actually turns heel on Rey Mysterio? Just awful, and uncomfortable to watch. Women's match? Better than you'd expect, but with no defined characters or storyline here, it's still not gonna stand up and say "look at something other than Jillian's unfortunate choice of boob job."
   
  And I think that was about it. Because I refuse to acknowledge the other WWE Diva who's promising to make an in-ring debut next week, to the delight of none. At least said diva seemed to change gears and purposely play an obnoxiously, vapid heel this week... which is as it will have to be if there's any chance of moderate success there.
   
  PyroFalkon puts the capper on Last Week in Wrestling with a SD! Recap.
   
  
• Moving on to this week, everybody needs to keep in mind that thanks to Corporate Synergy, RAW will still air live tonight, despite the start of US Open Tennis. Just click over to Sci-Fi at 9pm, and all will be just like any other Monday.
   
  If you don't have access to Sci-Fi, then start keeping an eye on USA at 11pm tonight, as RAW will air immediately following the conclusion of tennis on USA Network (note that I believe USA finagled things so that they get Andre Agassi's match tonight in prime time, which will no doubt be accompanied by all kinds of obnoxious schmaltz, especially if he dares to lose in the first round of his final US Open ever; so tennis may well run over the 11pm slotted ending, and those of you operating VCRs or DVRs will want to plan accordingly to make sure you have at least an extra half-hour buffer, just in case).
   
  Of note: USA currently plans to "demote" live US Open coverage to CNBC next Monday night so that they can air RAW live at 9pm, afterall. I assure you, however, that these plans are subject to change, pending who wins and scheduling and stuff. If there's a marquee match to be had next Monday night, RAW will get re-bumped to Sci-Fi and USA will take the tennis back and go with the late-night RAW replay. I was told that although the brackets currently project out so that USA wouldn't have any big matches to worry about next Monday, if that changes, the decision of what programming airs where could be made as late as Monday afternoon, which I'm sure sits really well with Vince "Blame It On Everybody Else" McMahon.
   
  
• 2 Cold Scorpio (former WCW mid-card attraction in the early 90s, who joined Brian Pillman in introducing high flying to US fans; and also a brief part of ECW, and then WWF as "Flash Funk") got a try-out look from WWE at TV tapings last week.
   
  Scorpio was basically Ron Killings before Ron Killings was cool. Assuming Ron Killings is (or ever was) cool. Although still active in Japan and the indies, it's unclear if he has the look and reliability to hang in today's WWE, but largely as a favor to Booker T, the company gave him the shot. Still, Scorpio at his present age and with his background could be a "reclamation project," sort of what Ron Simmons was when the WWF brought him in full-time years after he'd fallen off the radar. Chalk it up as a "Who Knows?"
   
  
• As tangentially mentioned above, Bob Holly returned to TV as part of the ECW brand. He was also joined by Matt Striker making the move over. Both worked house shows last weekend, as well.
   
  Holly? Look, like I said above, I can't be happier that he's healthy after some very scary months. But you want a guy lacking in "it" and skating by on tenure? Bob's the man for you...  but Striker? This could be the perfect re-assignment for him. His character is the perfect putz, and since Coach is far and away RAW's go-to guy when they need a comedic sacrificial lamb, ECW might be a place for Striker to shine with his obnoxious character and satisfying ability to get beaten up by any and all comers (including women). He could become something of a latter day Joel Gertner if they opt to use him more as a personality and less as a wrestler. Or maybe as some sort of bastard love child of Gertner and Stevie Richards' Clueless Putz era?
   
  I'm still convinced we'll find out that the Basham Brothers are Heyman's SWAT Team, too. And with each passing week, the "ECW Originals" do seem shoved to the side. In a lot of cases, it's hard to work up too much angst. Sabu, Dreamer, and Sandman seem pretty untouchable, which are the important ones at this point. I'm maybe a bit upset we haven't seen the FBI used better, but that might be a function of the lack of time to spend on establishing a tag division right now. But that'd be about it in terms of who I'd be protecting... for better or for worse: you're looking at Vince McMahon's ECW, now.
   
  
• WWE has announced names/dates/venues for all PPVs through next June (with One Night Stand 3 at the Hammerstein Ballroom being the last one on the schedule).
   
  As widely expected, ECW is getting a PPV of it's own towards the end of this year, too. Obviously designed to recall memories of ECW's signature annual show, November to Remember (without inspiring Heyman to ask Vince to pony up the dough so they could also do the annual "November Rain" Montage Video), the show will be December to Dismember, and will be held on December 3 in.....
   
  Wait a minute: in Augusta, GA? Because when I think Hootie Johnson and phalanxes of self-important douchebags who have a golf course so fancified they don't even have "rough," they have "secondary cut," lest other fancy boys think less of their palatial fortress of exclusiviosity, I think EXTREME WRESTLING~!
   
  I keed, I keed.... but it's still an odd choice considering how many formerly strong markets for the original ECW still haven't showed up on any schedules for the brand, yet. Unless Finicky Vince has decided again that he wants Mindless Drones in the audience instead of the vocal ECW crowds. I dunno.
   
  Everything else on the schedule is unremarkable, unless your town happens to be one of the ones getting a PPV. Also, as we've discussed before, "Taboo Tuesday" is dead, but is replaced by "Cyber Sunday" (which will be the exact same online voting gimmick, just offset to the nearest adjacent Sunday in early November). Otherwise, you could look at the past year's PPV calendar and guess right on just about everything else between now and June 2007.
   
  
  
• Since I'm purposely ignoring everybody who thinks I should talk about Chris Jericho on some stupid reality show and Stacy Keibler getting a recurring role on some stupid ABC sitcom (and since I want to know WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK is wrong with those of you who thought I should have the .jpg evidence that Hulk Hogan wears man panties when he's out by the pool), I think I'm about out of material.... which means just a quick glance ahead to RAW.
   
  No matches or major angles/segments have been announced, but you can bet that this'll be a week when Edge and John Cena are front and center. They are scheduled for a WWE Title rematch in a few weeks, and my guess (as it has been for weeks, now) is that after Edge survived Cena's "unfair advantage" at SummerSlam (in Cena's hometown and with rules that favored Cena), he'll come back after last week's besmirchment and grant Cena a rematch..... but only on Edge's terms. So I'm thinking "Edge's Match" (TLC) in Edge's hometown (Toronto) at the next PPV. Given how they played up Cena's advantage, they'd have to be almost retarded not to play up this angle....
   
  Then, for better or for worse, you also have the McMahons and DX lingering on the second line. After beating the McMahons in a match at SummerSlam and then repeatedly embarrassing them last Monday on RAW, DX should be declared the winners of the feud, just so it can end before it gets annoying....  I fear this will not be the case tonight. They certainly went out of their way to play up Vince's eroding sanity last week, so either Crazy Vindictive Vince will be in the house tonight making inane rulings and making life hell for everybody, or Crazy Loony Vince will be featured in Insane Asylum Skits that would only be funny if they crib from The Me and make sure there's an Evil Midget Involved somehow.
   
  [Tangent: is anyone other than me pissed that we didn't get to see Swearengen's midget get up to shenanigans on last night's "Deadwood"? First Finlay got one, then Al... I'm telling you people: EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH MIDGETS. Maybe we'll see Al's next year in the little mini-series they're gonna do? A midget would be just the thing to annoy the piss out of Farnham, and just when he's probably thinking he's a big fish in a small pond again. Sucker.]
   
  Ummmm, what else? Mick Foley really is off to enjoy a (well-deserved) vacation after delivering three Match of the Year Candidates during the last 5 months. So it's not like there's any follow-up there. Just maybe a little extra heat on Melina, which can only be a boon to Johnny Nitro, who is kinda limping along as the #3 act in that group, behind the IC Title and Melina's Rump.
   
  Also: Trish pinned Victoria this week, and pinned Mickie James 3 weeks ago (while Mickie was still champ), so all signs point to her leaping into a Farewell Program against one or both of Mickie and Lita for the women's title, which should fire up promptly.... the Highlanders have pinned the Spirit Squad twice in non-title matches, so that's probably what passes for them being in line for a title shot at this point.... Jeff Hardy returned and crossed paths with Edge (which mixed results), and probably stays in the mix there... Randy Orton seems poised to feud with Carlito, which doesn't bode well for the latter; but then again Carlito even made Chris F. Masters tolerable for brief stretches earlier this year, so who knows?... and Umaga vs. Kane is a slobber-knocker in the making.
   
  That should just about be all the important matters we see play out tonight. With the live slot on Sci-Fi, I do hope/expect that WWE will bring the A-game.... in past years, during pre-emptions to late night or other nights, they have purposely taken the show down a notch to "save" good stuff for the bigger audiences once they return to the normal slot. I hope they decide not to bother with that this year, otherwise between this week's move to Sci-Fi and next week being a holiday here in the US, it could be a pretty boring 2 weeks to watch wrestling on Monday nights.
   
  We'll see. Or at least: I know I will. I can't speak for you. And whether you see tonight or not, I trust you all know that you can come on back to OO tomorrow to see how I break the show down in the greatest and best RAW Recap In All The Land.
   
  Or at least: I hope it'll be tomorrow. This is one weekly feature where my own pride and stubbornness mean I'll go to great lengths to make sure my genius is shared with the masses.... updates and stuff going forward the rest of the week? I again implore you to be patient if it seems OO is a bit slow on the uptake, and promise it'll normalize again very soon.
   
  Later on, kids....