OO Column: Online Onslaught by Rick Scaia (Pro Wrestling News, Analysis, and Commentary... WWE, WWF, WCW, ECW, The Rock, Brock Lesnar, Triple H, Rob Van Dam, Hulk Hogan, Undertaker, Trish Stratus, Lita, Stacy Keibler, Divas, RAW, SmackDown, WrestleMania

ONLINE ONSLAUGHT
Tonight Does NOT Reek of Awesomeness...
April 12, 2011

by The Rick
Undisputed Lord and Master of Online Onslaught

I'm glad I'm not the only one who considers Edge's surprise announcement to be kind of a big deal. Turns out that after he made it, enough people tried to check OO that they broke it. For about 30 minutes last night, access to OO was either denied or was permitted to happen verrrrrryyyy sllloooowwwwwwlllyy. I had no way of knowing what Edge would do, so I couldn't plan ahead like I do for PPV nights, and so you were frozen out, and even I couldn't get in to post the NewsFlash till after things settled down.

But the facts that (a) so many folks rushed to OO to see what I thought or to post their thoughts on the forums and (b) I rushed to my computer to write something and post it to OO for you all to see show just how big a deal this is. I've noticed a continuing trend (since 2006 or so) of you readers being more lapsed/casual fans who "stay abreast" of wrestling happenings, rather than obsess over them; and in return, I'm sure you've noticed that I don't collect and present every minute newsbite like I used to, because there just doesn't seem to be as much happening that's really important, or that will enhance your/our fandom.

But last night, we both felt like something huge had happened, and rushed to meet up at the Online Onslaught to talk about it, like the good ol' days. It's just too bad that the news that brought us together was sad news. Edge: bringing people together since 2011!

I don't know if anybody else did this, but I tried to cheer myself up by enjoying the Foo Fighters on the Daily Show last night... and it sort of worked (they played my favorite song off the new record, Track #5), but it also served to remind me of Edge because.... well, just go google a picture of the Foo Fighters drummer. It's eerie!

That said, the Reds are playing on the west coast this week, so their game was still on-going even after the Daily Show. And the Reds managed a thrilling come from behind win, so all was right with the world, and my mood adequately improved as I headed to bed. And I pretty grouch-free as I sit down to spin you the Yarn of RAW:

Opening Theme/Pyro/Etc., and we're live in Bridgeport, CT. Which can mean only one thing: somebody's brawling into the parking lot and getting thrown into the Long Island Sound. King and Mathews are already at the announce table to welcome us, but they are interrupted by Michael Cole, who blathers into a mic as he enters the arena and then gets situated in his cubicle. With the increasingly-rank Cole (his expiration date was "WrestleMania 27") situated, we can now begin....

Apparently, It Takes a Village to Raise a #1 Contender

John Cena hits the ring, and starts off by reminding us of the WrestleMania 28 main event that he just so happens to be a part of... but he's had a week to think about it, and while Rock vs. Cena at WM is a big deal, it's not a big enough deal. For Rock vs. Cena at WM to truly live up to expectations, it needs to be for the move precious prize in the industry. It needs to be for the WWE Title.

At which point, Cena can't help but notice that only one of Rock and Cena is actually here wrestling every week. So Cena guesses he'd better get on that, since Rock's not going to bother. Ergo: Cena feels like maybe he didn't get a fair shake at WM27, and wants another shot at The Miz...

INTERRUPTO #1: Randall Orton has something to say. Sadly, it is very dumb, almost a throwback to the good ol' Mantard Heyday of 2004. You see, Orton says Cena lost to Miz at WM, so he's taken his shot and missed, and it's time for somebody fresh to go after the belt. Go ahead, roll that one around in your brain, and see if you can locate Randall's logical flaw.... if you can't, you're as dumb as him.

Sadly, Cena is too nice to point out the fact that Randy should shut his stupid face because Orton's lost FOUR times to Miz (including twice in one night) in recent memory, so really, who's the one who should still be at the back of the line? Instead, we just let Randall's moronity settle in with an awkward pause, as we await....

INTERRUPTO #2: It's John Morrison. He says he's seen Cena and Orton arguing over title shots before. He thinks it's a good show. But it's a better show now that John Morrison is throwing his hat into the ring. Nobody knows Miz better, and nobody deserves a shot more, and....

INTERRUPTO #3: It's Vickie Guerrero, accompanied by her valet, the Lovely Miss Ziggler. She reminds us that she pinned Morrison a few weeks ago, so clearly, she deserves to be the #1 Contender. But wait: she's joking... she actually wants to put in a vote of confidence for Ziggler, a former World Champion (for all of 90 minutes), and the only man in this ring who hasn't already lost to Miz at least once.....

INTERRUPTO #4: It's R-Truth. Oy. So he wants in on this, too. Despite the fact that nobody cares about him, and he didn't even get a cameo on the last PPV, yet he still thinks he should headline the next PPV. Who, exactly, does Truth have pictures of?

Anyway, now that the ring is full, we get the entirely anvilicious INTERRUPTO #5: the Virtual General Manager chimes in. Cole takes the email on his iPad, and informs us that if these 5 all want a shot at Miz's title, then they'll compete later tonight in a Gauntlet Match. Alright. Lots of shifty eyes and suspicious glances among the five as the opening segment comes to an end....

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Vignette: a large shadowy figure is holding a Barbie-type doll. Then the large shadowy figure flicks the doll's head right off. Then the large shadowy figure chuckles. I believe we can safely say that Awesome Kong does not like busty blonde models prancing about as "divas."

Eve vs. A Bella (Women's Title Match)

Eve has an idea, and tells the ref to use a Sharpie to draw an "X" on the non-wrestling Bella's hand, so he can tell them apart. GENIUS~! Except: it backfires. After all of 2 minutes of "action," Eve is in control, and the Other Bella attempts to switch herself into the match. Eve and the ref notice the "X" on her hand. However, while the ref is distacted with the Other Bella, the Actual Bella has had a chance to recover and whaps Eve from behind. Then a facebuster later, and it's all over.

Your Winner and NEW Women's Champ: A Bella, via pinfall, in 3 minutes. OK. Whatever. Eve winning was completely random and made no sense, so why should her losing be any different.

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Backstage: Gail is trying to console Eve after her loss, but Eve says Gail doesn't really care, and is just being a phony, because that's all any of these divas are: a bunch of self-involved phonies. Nattie Neidhart comes into the frame, also trying to be nice and supportive of Eve, and gets a "Screw you" from Eve. Gail and Nattie are confused, and assure each other that THEY aren't like that, no matter what Eve says. Then Tamina shows up and gathers up some gear from her locker, and leaves without giving Gail or Nattie so much as a "Hi." Hoooookay....

Sin Cara vs. Primo

Primo didn't get a ring entrance, and yeah, this is basically a squash, but it's also Sin Cara's debut... so I'll say a few words about it.

First, it's going to be a pain in the ass to recap Sin Cara's matches, since you can't just call him "Cara," because that is a girl's name. You have to type the whole thing. I think WWE really screwed the pooch by not naming him "Sin Nostra," which means the same thing in Spanish ("No Face"), and sounds way, way cooler.

Second, it's 2 minutes of flippy stuff that seems to go over pretty well ("Sin Car Uh" chants, even), and then the end, which is going to require both men on the top rope... but Primo slips, and they have to cover it up and then try again. If you were even thinking about being annoyed by the flub, you forget all about it when the second attempt hits, and it's Sin Cara nailing a top rope C-4! Holy crap! That move is amazing enough done on the mat, but from the top rope? Wow.

Your Winner: Sin Cara, in 3 minutes, via pinfall. That won't stick as his full time finisher (only a handful of guys on the roster can take that bump), but his standard finisher is pretty amazing, too, and he gets points for busting out the C-4 as a way to make a first impression.

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In Ring Promo: The Corre are all in the ring, and Barrett has a mic. He says that last week was pretty much the shittiest week ever, what with them losing at WM in 90 seconds, getting their asses handed to them by Cena and the Rock, and then losing again on SmackDown... he says that he came into this thinking it'd be a good thing if they were all equals, but if last week is the result of equality, then Wade might take control again and provide some leadership for the other three screw-ups. This doesn't really go over so well, and each of Slater, Gabriel, and Jackson let him know that they do not appreciate being blamed for the Corre's failures. Before things get any worse, the bickering foursome are interrupted by...

APPLE. Yes, the APPLE is here to fight the Corrre. Santino leads Dan Bryan, Evan Bourne, and Mark Henry onto the stage, and announces they are Allied Peoples Powered by Loathing Everything (that you stand for). HA~! Trust me: it's all in the delivery. Anyways, a challenge is made and accepted, and now it's on....

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OK, NOW it's on...

APPLE vs. the Corre

Joined in progress after the ad break, and Dan Bryan is already our Face in Peril. Tag Champs Slater and Gabriel do a nice job of cutting the ring in half, and Bryan's hope spots are few and far between over the next several minutes. Finally he fires up after about 5 minutes of post-ads action, and makes the hot tag to Santino.

House afire into the Pier 8 Brawl, just as you'd expect. Babyfaces seem to get the better of it, leaving Santino alone in the ring against Slater. But while the ref is distracted by Bourne hitting a plancha onto Wade Barrett on one side of the ring, Gabriel reaches into the ring to grab Santino's foot and trip him up. Neckbreaker by Slater, and it's all over.

Your Winners: the Corre, via pinfall, in -- oh, let's say -- 8 minutes if you count the ad break. So after the Corre's shitty week, they simultaneously introduce internal dissension AND get a much needed win. Is it the cure to their problems, or just a band aid? We shall see...

Awkward Segue: with the Corre still in the ring, Jim Ross' music starts up, and he comes to the ring, where he's scheduled to be in Jerry Lawler's corner for a match against Jack Swagger. But Lawler's still on commentary. So JR starts harassing Michael Cole inside his cubicle.... then Swagger runs out, without an entrance, to put a stop to that, so Lawler gets up from commentary to protect JR from Swagger. And so the brawl is on, but instead of ringing the bell and starting the match officially, we cut to...

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Jerry "the King" Lawler vs. Jack Swagger

Apparently the rang the bell while we were away. The story here is that Lawler wants another shot at Cole, while Cole wants to retire undefeated.... so the GM made this match where if Lawler wins, he not only gets a rematch at the Extreme Rules PPV, but he can name his match/stipulation. But if Lawler loses, no rematch with Cole, ever. EVER~!

So of course, that telegraphs the outcome, and Lawler wins. He did so by taking a few minutes of ass kicking, and then, just when Swagger was getting set to apply the ankle lock, Cole got up on the apron to cheer him on. JR came around the corner and yanked Cole off the apron. This caused poor Jack to get distracted, as he admonished JR for being a big jerkface... giving King plenty of time to recover and sneak up from behind with a schoolboy roll-up.

Your Winner: Jerry Lawler, via pinfall, in about 7 minutes (if you count the ad break). Necessary/Obvious finish to set up the PPV rematch, but sweet jesus did they make it a bigger-than-necessary chore to watch. Instead of having Mathews do commentary, they mic'd both JR and Cole and had their cheerleading double as the commentary. Not good. Rather distracting. But I guess the whole thing was saved by what happened....

After the Match: Cole got very upset with Swagger for losing, and Swagger stood up for himself noting that it was Cole's fault for getting involved and causing the distraction. That only made Cole MORE upset, leading up to him slapping Swagger and then scurrying away before Jack could decide what to do about it. It is at this moment that Lawler has An Idea, and decides not to wait to name his match at Extreme Rules.... based on what just happened, he'd like to have a tag match: King and JR vs. Cole and Swagger. Cole is not happy: he's either going to have to eat a TON of humble pie to win back Swagger, r he's walking into a 3-on-1 match.

Huh. Cole and his obnoxious gimmick have over-stayed their welcome, but if this ends with Swagger (rather than King) being the one to finally humble Cole and beat the assclown out of him, then that could be a win. Give the "rub" to a guy who can use it, rather than wasting the demise of Cole on an announcer... I could live with that. But if it turns out Swagger's still on Cole's side, and this just serves to prolong Cole's character's lifespan, I shall be very, very put out.

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This So Totally Reeks of Non-Awesomeness Theatre

As Edge makes his way to the ring, we see that King and JR are now on commentary, and both make comments to the effect of "There have been rumors swirling all afternoon that Edge might be announcing his retirement tonight." For one brief moment, my Desperate Smark tries to convince the rest of me that "Well, if they're saying he's going to retire, then that means he's not really retiring. It's something else."

Like I said in the NewsFlash: it's not like there haven't been hints and rumblings, so I really was desperate to grab onto any crazy theory that might mean this wasn't really about to happen.

Edge soaks in some cheers, and then trades in his World Heavyweight Title belt for a microphone. I'll let the man speak for himself:

Hey. You may have to bear with me a little bit. I’m probably going to ramble and not make much sense but just please just bear with me. A lot of people think that the WWE doesn’t hurt, that what we do is maybe with smoke and mirrors. I wish that were true but anybody in that locker room -- anybody who has ever stepped in here and laced up a pair of boots knows that is not the case -- which brings me to what I’m about to tell you.

Eight years ago I broke my neck. I had spinal fusion surgery, which means they move your throat over, put a plate in there, screws; it’s really in depth surgery. But because of that surgery I knew that I was wrestling on borrowed time from that point on. So fast forward: for the last little while I’ve been in a lot of pain. I’ve been losing feeling in my arms so I passed strength tests and all those things. I made it through WrestleMania but the WWE wanted me to go get more tests. Thankfully I did because the MRIs show that I have to retire.

Trust me, it’s not my choice but the doctors have told me I have no choice. Thankfully they found out because I’m not going to end up in a wheelchair now. [crowd starts up a "Thank you, Edge" chant, Edge starts to well up] This is a little bit tougher than I thought it was going to be. So, you know... [now forced to acknowledge the thunderous "Thank You" chants] No, thank you guys.

[pregnant pause to let everybody get their stuff together; and then Edge is ready to continue]

This has been an emotional rollercoaster of a week and I’m not going to lie: I’ve been feeling sorry for myself. Until I talked to Christian -- and for those of you who don’t know, Christian has been my best friend for 27 years -- but until I talked to him, you see, I was angry at myself, and at my body, because I felt like there’s a lot of people in this company that depend on me, and I felt like I was letting them down. I felt like I was letting you guys down. And I was upset, too, because I felt like I wasn’t ending this on my terms but he reminded me I competed my whole career on my own terms.

You know, I’m still like all of you: a huge fan of the WWE. Every month, Christian and I would go to Maple Leaf Gardens and watch all of our favorites. We’d watch Legion of Doom, Demolition, Hulk Hogan. We’d watch all of them and just be enthralled. Then I went to WrestleMania VI, and I watched Hulk Hogan against the Ultimate Warrior, and I said, "I’m doing this one day." And you know what? Fast forward a whole bunch of years and I'm main eventing WrestleMania against the Undertaker.

There’s no way I ever would have dreamed of that. There’s no way if you told me when I was eleven years old that I would win more championships than anyone in the history of this company I never would have believed you. And if you had told me my last match would be at WrestleMania in one of the main events defending the World Heavyweight Championship and I’d be retiring as the World Heavyweight Champion? Man, I couldn’t dream of a better way to go out. I really couldn’t.

I started in the WWE when I was 23. I’ve been doing this for 19 years, 14 of them with the WWE. My first match was May 10, 1996, in Hamilton, at the Copps Coliseum. I was 23 years old and I feel like I’ve grown up in front of all of you. I feel like I’ve made a whole lot of mistakes in front of you. I’ve learned from them and I’ve become a man in front of you.

I’ve gone from being the silent guy running around the streets of New York with a trench coat that was way too small for him... to a pseudo vampire in the Brood... to one of the funny, goofy guys along with Christian, posing for those with the benefit of flash photography... I became one of the most despised guys in WWE history... I got thrown into the Long Island Sound... I’ve had a Live Sex Celebration; thankfully, with Lita and not Vickie Guerrero. And I would hope that through it all I’ve earned the respect of everyone in that locker room, and I hope that I’ve earned all of your respect. Because no matter what -- no matter what -- I came out here and I tried to give you guys as much as I had every single night, and in turn you guys gave it right back to me.

So I’m going to miss all of this. All of it. I’m going to miss that reaction when I hear my music and I come out on the ramp. It’s like a shot of adrenaline straight to the heart from you guys and it’s amazing. I can’t describe it. But that being said, I don’t have to wear tights tomorrow and I am going to eat a whole lot of ice cream tonight.

[laughs; tension defused; both fans and Edge are ready to accept this, so let's take it home...]

If you asked if I would do all of this again, all the way back to getting hired by JR... if you asked if I’d travel all the roads, log all the miles, hop on all the flights, all the sleepless nights, the surgeries, the injuries, the sleepless nights, the metal rods in my teeth, all of it... if you asked me if I’d do it again? In a heartbeat. So thank you. Thank you very much.

And that was that. I can't add much more today that I didn't already write last night... losing one of your favorite performers is sad, but this is a relatively happy way to lose one: to a happy and relatively healthy retirement brought about by smart saving/investing and attentive doctors. Beats some of the other bits of sadness we've dealt with in our years as wrestling fans.

"Thank you, Edge," indeed.

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Backstage: the entire WWE roster had lined up behind the curtain and formed a "tunnel" for Edge. A "thank you" here, a fist-bump there, and as always: big hugs for all the ladies, because Edge is such a smooth son of a bitch. This really was a sudden change of plans, so it's nice that WWE made room for Edge to have 15 minutes, and then -- no matter how brief -- this extra moment with his peers.... but I also wouldn't be surprised if they find a way to do a bigger, in-arena roast/farewell on Friday's Smackdown, now that they'll have an extra day to prepare.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. John Cena (5-man Gauntlet to Determine #1 Contender)

Miz comes out first to join JR and King on commentary. Then Orton comes out, then Ziggler. They drew the short straws, and will have to survive the entire match if they are to win. A few back and forth feeling-out minutes to start, then Ziggler takes control, and tries to out-Orton Orton with a boring-ass Chinlock of Extreme Exertion. Oy. On commentary, Miz has decided to tacitly approve Ziggler as his choice to win this match since he's beaten all the other guys, so at least Dolph would be a fresh challenge. Orton hulks up out of the deadly chinlock and is getting ready to put Ziggler away when the non-CM-Punk members of Nexus run down and get up on the apron to create a distraction. Ziggler uses a roll-up and a handful of tights to get the win.

Orton eliminated after 5 minutes. Now, Otunga, McGuillicutty, and Mason Ryan get into the ring and put the boots to Orton for a lengthy beatdown, ending with Ryan hitting the WelshBatistaBomb. Nexus survey their handiwork as we cut to...

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Back, and R-Truth has entered as the next guantlet participant. Truth vs. Ziggler is so thrilling that the crowd starts chanting "Boring." I concur. I might have been imagining things, but while Ziggler was working another resthold, it looked like the ref was listening carefully to his earpiece and then started talking to both guys. Almost instantly, Truth fired up, and landed his finisher out of nowhere. Did they just cut that short in order to placate the audience?

Ziggler eliminated at the 10 minute mark. Next up: John Morrision. During his entrance, we once again check some....

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Back, and Truth is nominally in control, although Morrison's flashy offense means he's got plenty of hope spots in him, but then he'll whiff on something high-risk to let Truth take over again. On commentary, Miz offers a bit of foreshadowing when he discusses how Truth has always seemed to be a bit schizophrenic: sometimes he's a dancing, singing happy-fun-time clown, but bubbling underneath there's a bona fide street thug. Miz suggests the key to this match may well be which R-Truth shows up tonight.

From the looks of things, it's more of the latter, as the flow of the match and basic body language/psychology has Truth as the nominal heel, controlling Morrison until the cute l'il cuckold can fire up: using the last of his strength, Morrison hits a plancha, and both men are down outside the ring... they just barely get back into the ring as the ref counts 9. End game from here has them trading big moves and near falls until Morrison sets up Starship Pain. But Truth moves out of the way and follows up with the Lie Detector for the win.

Morrison eliminated at the 20 minute mark, after a rather extended segment. Next up (and last up): John Cena. We get Cena doing a full-length ring entrance (Truth is slumped in a corner, recovering), and then as he might be ready to start fighting, it's time for....

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Back, and it turns out they still haven't started. Cena's allowed Truth to catch his breath, and waits until the ref gets them to the center of the ring to ring the bell... Cena immediately goes on the offensive, and notably goes for pinfalls after every move (starting after a move as simple as a body slam).

But Truth kicking out of those early moves set the tone for later, as Cena starts landing bigger moves, and Truth STILL kicks out, much to the crowd's pleasure (the "Cena Sucks" chants were out in full force tonight) and to Cena's surprise. Cena's actually playing the nice guy: trying to win without totally destroying his (semi-)pal, but Truth keeps kicking out. So Cena has no choice: he turns the key to arm the big bombs. Wacky tackles, wacky suplex, and he's setting up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle when Miz throws off his headset and hops in the ring along with Alex Riley. Miz attacks Truth's carcass while Riley blindsides Cena at the same time. Seeing that, the ref calls for the bell.

Your Winner: Nobody. Due to both men being attacked, the ref rules this is a Double Disqualification (after roughly 30 minutes of action). Crowd boos, but Miz celebrates because now that both men have lost, there is no #1 Contender. In fact, he wants to taunt the losers, so...

After the Match: Miz grabs a mic and reiterates how this means Cena and Truth can join the other 3 guys in going to the back of the line. They lost, and WWE's going to have to dig up somebody else to face him at Extreme Rules. [It is at this moment that I was hopefully that Stone Cole Steve Austin would show up to build off last week's angle, but alas, I expect too much out of WWE...] It is shortly after this moment that lame ol' reality rears its head, and the RAW GM chimes in. Lawler goes to read the email, and it turns out that Miz is right: he doesn't have a #1 Contender.... he has TWO #1 Contenders.

At Extreme Rules, it'll be a triple threat match: Miz vs. Cena vs. Truth for the WWE Title. Bleh. Intellectually, I know why Truth is shoehorned in here where he doesn't belong (so that neither Miz nor Cena has to get pinned and can be protected, while Truth plays the expendable third wheel), but it still doesn't make this all that scintilating a way to close out the show.

After the announcement, Cena and R-Truth seem happy, and start patting each other on the back. Then the pats turn to slaps. Then the slaps turn to shoves. Truth is the one who finally decides to step back, but only while aiming a Death Stare directly at Cena as we fade to black.

And so ended the show. The Edge retirement just overshadowed everything else; WWE didn't help the cause by expecting R-Truth-in-a-PPV-main-event to capture the imaginations of the fans, but it wouldn't have matter even if they done something different (such as use the significantly-more-talented Morrison in the role of the expendable sacrificial lamb)... well, maybe if my fleeting fantasy of Austin showing up had happened, that'd have been something, but obviously that wasn't a genuine option.

Edge's segment makes this a historical RAW, one worth seeing. The rest of the show really wasn't bad or anything, either... in fact the pacing/content of the show was vastly improved (no wastes of time repeating entire Rock/Cena segments or Moments Ago or anything, likely because they had to reformat the show to allow for Edge's segment), and it made for a pretty "sticky" and fast-forward-proof show.

See you again on Friday with the SD Recap, OO Nation. Be well till then, kids...

RAW SATIRE: Nunzio, the Female Body Inspector

RAW RECAP: R-Truth is One Angry Black Man

SMACKDOWN RECAP: The Terrorists Win

RAW SATIRE: Wrestling's Most Wanted

RAW RECAP: T-Minus 48 Weeks, and Counting

PPV RECAP: WWE Extreme Rules 2011

OOTRR: WWE Unforgiven 2004 Re-Revued

RAW SATIRE: WHAMMY'D~!

NEWSFLASH: 2011 WWE Draft Results

RAW RECAP: Now You See Him, Now You Still See Him

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Edge's Busy Retirement

RAW SATIRE: England is Flavor Country

RAW RECAP: Changing Plans

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Bittersweet Victory

RAW SATIRE: Who is Sin Cara?

RAW RECAP: Other Stuff Happened, Too

NEWSFLASH: Edge Retires

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Third Time's the Charm

RAW SATIRE: Think of the Children!

RAW RECAP: Cena and Rock Ask You to Save the Date

PPV RECAP: WWE WrestleMania 27

ONLINE ONSLAUGHT: A Throwback WrestleMania?

PYRO'S PPV CORNER: WrestleMania 27

RAW SATIRE: Big Red Tromboner

RAW RECAP: Finally...

RAW SATIRE: Thrown Under the Bus

NXT RECAP: Like a Cow Chewing its Own Cud...

RAW RECAP: Sweet Sweet Vengeance

RAW SATIRE: Jersey Wisdom?

NXT RECAP: The Case for William Regal

RAW RECAP: Miz = Winning

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Who Won NXT, Again?

RAW SATIRE: G-Rilla is Here!

NXT RECAP: Is This Really Necessary?

RAW RECAP: The Soul Crushing Finale

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Christian to the Rescue (Again)

RAW SATIRE: Miz's Addition by Subtraction Theatre

NXT RECAP: Johnny Curtis?!? Really?!?

RAW RECAP: Phoning it In

SMACKDOWN RECAP: Hasta la Vista, Vickie

RAW SATIRE: Scandal in the Tag Ranks

NXT RECAP: What the What?!?

RAW RECAP: Silence is Golden

OO: What I'll Remember About Chris Benoit

NEWS CENTRAL: All Updates About Benoit Tragedy

E-MAIL RICK SCAIA
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Rick Scaia is a wrestling fan from Dayton, OH. He's been doing this since 1995, but enjoyed it best when the suckers from SportsLine were actually PAYING him to be a fan.